and bed time.

so i'm going to bed. right now. i didn't write the ethics critical response [but i did read the article]. or work on my angiosperm projeect. because all i wanted to do was sleep. all day. oh well.

i can't believe how crazy i'm going for last night. sorry. it was just so much fun and exactly what i needed.

was it worth it?

i am so tired. and i have so much school work to do. so were the fun times worth it? i'll answer that later. it will depend on whether or not i get my ethics critical response written or not. and if i do any work on my angiosperm lab project. but i definitely had fun. those girls at our table were hilarious. i'm glad they sat with us.
i'm such a fool when i'm drunk. i always think back on the night and just think oh man...i'm such a moron... i don't ever do anything overly stupid. i just feel foolish. and camera phones should not be allowed in the hands of drunk people. trouble! and the pictures are always all grainy and dark. i think they'd turn out better if the flash was used, but you have to actually set the flash for every picture and who wants to screw around with that when they're drunk and just want to take the picture? plus the flash on my phone actually blinds people. yeah, i'm not kidding. if you look into the flash, your eyes will burn out of your head. so i never really use it anyway.
i'm deciding right now that last night was totally worth it. if i hadn't gone out last night i would have actually gone insane. and now the month of october is going to be pretty busy for me so there probably won't be any drunken nights until some time in november. which is good. because i can't afford it, and its so much more fun when it only happens every once and a while. well, maybe there will be one. i think there is one weekend in october that is in the middle of the crazyness and i could justify a night of beer filled fun. yeah, i'm gonna say the weekend of october 28 will be a good weekend for some beer. oh man. that's another month away. that seems to be my limit. so thats good.

[on a completely unrelated note, john king, as great as he is, talks waaaay too fast. i find it hard to keep up with him. and obviously hilary is going to defend the work bill did as president...waste of time to hear what she has to say about it.]

alright. enough of this wasting of time. man, if there were a procrastination olympics, i'd win the gold medal in every event.

oh, and i thought that i was super lame for having sexyback as my ringtone [everyone needs a little justin timberlake in their day] but as it turns out, of the 5 girls i was with last night, 3 of us have the same ringtone. haha awesome.

and i almost forgot! pictures! this was last night. there are more, but my phone is being a bitch and won't send them. so we've got some pictures of some shameless cuties, shawn and luke, and then two lovey ladies. but its really dark. boo. and luke is cuter than shawn [even with the scruff ;)].

nothing better

ok. there is nothing better than a beer filled saturday night at the lower deck. wait. yes there is. its better when that beer filled night inclueds friends you haven't seen in a long time, and shameless. i. love. shameless. its true. what can i say. i had more fun tonight than i've had in quite some time. at least the last month. probably the last like 6 months. i know i've seen shameless in that time, but after having not seen them in well...like 4 weeks...which is a long time whe you see them like, every weekend, it was better than ever before. i'm so tired and it's almost 4am and i have so much work to do tomorrow, but it was totally worth it. shameless, beer, lower deck, mcdogfood...doesn't get any better. i wanted to attach a picture in their honour, but i don't have a picture of all of them. so no picture at this time.
i would like to apologize to someone if i was too annoying and talkie while things were trying to get done. i just miss the chats. and seriously, best hugs ever. thank you.
and now it's bed time.

freshmucker

i'm only posting this because it is relevant to how i spend my saturday being a science nerd. it has nothing to do with the fact that it's anderson cooper. almost nothing. anyway, we do this trick all the time. it also works with sand, and clear pop works better than cola. diet spritz up is the best. we did super accurate scientific testing.
the best things about this video are how he says, "freshmucker", and his laughing. i love hearing people laugh. and this is a good little chuckle.

and just as i head off to bed...

...everyone looks 573% sexier with glasses. damn.


p.s. you know where i'll be all day saturday! visits are welcome! come one, come all!

p.p.s. there are exactly 4 months till my birthday...the big 2-5...start planning!

super honesty time

so who saw postsecret this week? and did you see this one and deep down inside hope that you were were the subject of the secret? be honest. i sure did. it could have come from almost anyone. it feels good to know that people love you. but now it's friday. i'm sure that the secret poster has seen the card and the job is done by now.

wow.

the rain right now is amazing.

hilarious.

oh man. this made me laugh out loud. this combines two of my favourite things! jon stewart and cnn! is there a better way to start my day? i don't think so.

Video: Jon Stewart's I-Report *

p.s. hopefully this link works...it did for me once, and then it stopped. but it's not working for me off the cnn site either. so i dunno. sad.

save me from group projects!!

i don't ever want it to be said that i don't work well with others. i think i get along with people pretty well. i like working with people. i just don't like when those people are slackers and their slackness is going to affect my grade. if my slackness costs me marks, thats one thing. but i'm not putting up with other people's slackness. and schedules are just way too hard to coordinate. i think the problem is just that i live not so close to school. on the day when i have no classes, i'd rather just work from home. i need to move out. closer to school. really bad. who needs a roommate? eah? i'm a good bathroom cleaner! i'll just wait here quietly for the offers to come.

p.s. i am not the one with the TA crush. just to clear that up. i was just part of the conversation. even though my philosophy TA is kinda cute in an eric foreman kinda way....

yea for new shirts!

it came! today my new shirt came in the mail!

reading IS sexy...it's true...

curiouser and curiouser

so i just had a discussion with someone about TA's and crushes and where the lines are drawn. why is it that crushes are always had on the most inappropriate people? no one ever has a crush on someone who is readily available. and its not like it's this planned thing. stupid crushes on unavailable people seem to just be the way it goes. anyway, we decided that TA crushes are probably not a good idea and that all feelings should be immediately dismissed. concentrating in class/lab/tutorial is hard enough without that kind of distraction.

damn horoscopes....

its weird that yesterday i had the med school lightbulb and today, this is my horoscope....

your life has settled down enough for you to temporarily take charge of your career. you have been riding the waves of change, but now the destruction caused by the incoming waves is clearing the way for new and better goals. keep your eyes on the future, even if your nerves get rattled with uncertainty. with patience, you will reach your desired destination.


and the official outcome of that other horoscope that i was talking about a month or so ago is, i fucked up and things turned out exactly like it said they would. sad damnit.

i hate horoscopes.

scary and intimidating

so when i was on the bus today on my way home, the bus got pretty full. all the seats were full and people were standing. all the seats, except the one next to me. why? i have no idea. i had my backpack on my lap, so the seat was empty. it's not like i'm fat and take up 2 seats. and i don't play my music all blasting so everyone around me can hear it. someone can totally sit comfortably next to me on the bus. i was once told by someone that i was scary and intimidating. think that's why no one wants to sit next to me on the bus? they see me sitting there looking all scary and intimidating and so they don't sit? they'd rather stand? am i scary and intimidating? or do i just smell and no one wants to tell me?

what do you do with an undergrad?

i've been thinking a lot lately about the future. i don't really do that very often. i have a hard time with that vision. i don't know what brought upon this whole plan for the future business, but i've definitely woken up.
i've started thinking about the direction i want to take within my biology degree. there are lots of areas to study and i need to pick one. what i've realized from this is that i love genetics and that i've closed off some options due to my just get through right now way of living. due to the fact that my only goal was to pass the class, don't worry about how well you do, just pass it, i only got a D in first year chemistry. the thing is, i really like chemistry and when i put my mind to it, i'm good at it. but i ended up with this D and because of that, i can't take any higher level genetics or biochemistry classes because they all require a minimum of a C in first year chem. blast. and because i'm already so far behind in the whole school thing, and have already spent so much money, i don't want to get into retaking classes.
I am also starting to think about what happens after i get this biology degree. everyone i know with just an undergrad is wandering around wondering what to do with their life. they are either working jobs that have nothing to do with the 4 or 5 years they spent in school, or they are working in entry level lab jobs that they hate, or they are just taking random undergrad classes just to stay in school until they figure out their plan. an undergrad all on its own is useless. i need a plan.
So, due to a bunch of different things that would be a whole post on their own, the lightbulb that came in in my head was med school. i want to be a doctor. and the funny thing is, i have never considered doctor as a career before but i was a lifeguard for 6 years and i loved it. i know they're not even close to being on the same level, but in some ways they are similar. i loved learning about the different injuries and illnesses. and i loved learning how to treat them. as a lifeguard you are helping people in ways that not just anybody can help people. i've always known that i wanted a career where i was doing something usefull. making a difference has always been important to me. people always told me that i would make a good teacher because i've always had jobs educating children in some way. i've taught a lot of kids how to swim and about science and i really like it in those situations, but the thought of actually being a teacher makes me want to tear my hair out. i've had some really great teachers who have inspired me to be a better person. but it definitely takes a special kind of person to be a really great teacher, and i don't think i'm that person. if i'm going to do something, i want to be passionate about it. teaching is not a passion.
i've thought about a lot of different things and nothing really feels like it fits. i know i haven't tried all these things, but thinking about them kinda feels like wearing a shirt that is like, half a size too small. you can put it on, and you could probably pull it off, but its a little bit uncomfortable. right now, when i think about being a doctor, i feel like i've pulled on the right size shirt. it doesn't feel too small and that is the first time in my life that i have felt this way.
this goal is going to kick my ass. i'm nervous because i don't have a great school record. but, if i can ace this year and the next two, i might actually have a shot. thats the greatest thing about it - it's not too late. i've never felt this calm before. i really hope that this feeling lasts.

midnight phone calls

phone calls that wake me up at midnight are totally welcome when i put the phone up to my ear and i hear 'slide' being played by my favourite 80's coverband (even though slide isn't an 80's song....i need a new way to describe them....). fantastic.

yeah slide!

movie rain

it is pouring out. it's that super straight down kind of rain that people in movies are always making out in. after a heated argument, one person chases the other person down the street and yells at them to tell them how much they love them and how stupid they were. that's what kind of rain is falling right now.

the last kiss

what a great movie. funny, and heartbreaking, and optimistic. oh zach braff, your status as my celebrity crush is firmly cemented! you're so funny! and that love scene? hot. i want to see it again. the whole movie. not just the love scene. and when this movie comes out on dvd, it will take it's place, warmy snuggled up to garden state on my movie shelf.

oh the fall....

how beautiful is it out today! this is definitely my favourite time of year. i love it. this awesome time thats just summer ending and fall just starting. it's perfect. i love that crisp feeling in the air. i could have spent all day outside. but class took care of that.
ok, speaking of class, i had a philosophy tutorial today. and i have a hard enough time wrapping my brain around the whole philosophy thing. i don't want to have to explain exactly what it is that makes me not get it. because i do get it...it's just...wordy. i don't know. anyway, the classroom we were in faces the soccer field. with about 15 mins left in the tutorial (where we were talking about human rights), eye of the tiger starts blasting from the field loudspeakers. the ta was not impressed. he was like, WHAT is that? and people were like, soccer field. and he was like, there is a soccer game NOW? and he started complaining about how distracting it was and what are they thinking, blah blah blah... and then he says, this is infringing on my right to a quiet thinking environment. maybe it is, but if you made them turn it off, that would be infringing on their right to blast eye of the tiger as loud as they want to to pump up the team. so what would make your right to a quiet thinking environment more important than their right to loud music? see? this is my problem with philosophy.
anyway, i think i'm gonna hit a movie tonight. i need to get out of the house for something other than school and work. speaking of work, tomorrow should be interesting. i think that the day could go either way. we're either gonna be bored to tears because there will be no one, or we're gonna get our asses kicked because it will be so insanely busy. if you're in the city for any reason tomorrow, COME VISIT ME!!!
the forbs list of richest americans has 400 people on it, and the lowest amount of money on the list is $1 billion. that's disgusting.
and how come when wolf blitzer isn't on the situation room, john king fills in but when anderson cooper isn't on ac360, john roberts fills in. john king is so much better. john roberts is a moron.

p.s. how bad do i want to go to the copper penny this weekend? yeah, that's right. the penny. oh god, you have no idea....i miss my 80's band...and it doesn't make it any easier when some people are rubbing it in that i can't go.

volunteer oportunities

lately i have had a huge urge to do something worth while with my time. what i really want to do is go to africa. if i were a doctor or nurse or microbiologist, i would apply to doctors without borders. but since i am none of those things, i can't help them. i went on a hunt for various international aid organizations based out of canada. the one i would like to sign up with is youth challenge international. they offer 5, 6, 10 or 12 week programs to various countries including costa rica, guyana, nicaragua, ethiopia, kenya, tanzania, ghana, and vanuatu. i know some of those aren't african, but they're offered. and not all countries have the different lengths of time. like kenya only has 10 week programs. i think that i'd want to go to kenya, ethiopia, tanzania or guyana. it's expensive though. i'd have to raise anywhere between $2900 and $4000 + airfare depending on how many weeks i'd be going for. and that just includes what they need. i'd have to cover any medical issues such as vaccinations and any equipment or gear that i'd need/want. and some countries require an entrance visas. the good thing about this organization is that they offer tax receipts for people who give you money. i looked at some other ones that didn't.
anyway, how amazing would it be to go and do this? in the african countries the things the volunteers do are youth skills development, hiv/aids awareness raising and gender equality training. i think that it would be the most unbelieveable experience. to be able to help these people and get actual first hand experience of what life is like in these poor countries would be life changing. i'd have to go in the summer though because i can't miss school. i'm already way too behind there. and to go in the summer would mean that i wasn't working to make money to go to school the next year. how does that affect student loans? i could do guyana for 5 weeks in july and august and work before i went...i'd make some money. i dunno. i may never even do this. but i want to. really bad. so why not? but only if i could actually findraise the money. because there is no way that i'd ever be able to pay any of it myself. maybe i'll send them an e-mail and ask some questions. i looked at the application form and it asks you how you feel about heat, bugs, and sleeping on the ground. i hate all those things but i think that the experience would be worth putting up with those things for 5 weeks. especially where i get to come back here where i have air conditioning, no bugs and a bed. those people live there every day of their lives. and the heat, bugs and floor sleeping are the least of their worries. they have no food, no water, and are dying of aids. i want to do it. i think that i'm going to look into it some more.

profile update

i changed my random question.
i'll tell you the story if you want to hear it.
plastic cups, goggles, and 5kg of rice. how can it be a bad story?


thursday. grey's anatomy and er season premieres. don't miss them.