actually, i am not five years old and i know what i'm doing.

i'm not sure what's going on at work lately. i've worked there for 5 years now and i'm pretty sure of what goes on and how things work [believe it or not].

so why is it that all of the sudden i've started getting condescending e-mailes from my supervisor detailing various procedures and little "reminders" about what needs to be done.

yeah, i've got it all under control, thanks.

it wouldn't be so bad getting these e-mails if i was actually slacking off or screwing up, but i'm not. and i know i'm not. i've even stepped it up a notch to make sure he was happy with everything. but i keep getting the fucking e-mails. and it's starting to make me hate him.

i don't know what changed, or what's going on with this supervisor [i'm not there during the week when he is] but this needs to stop. if his supervisor is coming down on him about stupid little things and pissing him off, well he needs to deal with that and stop projecting it on me. i hate being pissed off about everything when i'm there. it's one day a week. it shouldn't have me this furious.

if other people are screwing up and he's pissed about that and he wants me to do something about it, he should just come out and say that. but i'm not really seeing anyone doing anything really wrong and honestly i'm not going to put that much effort into figuring it out. if they want me to take on some kind of supervisor role, they're gonna want to start paying me for it. because right now, i've worked there 5 years and make the same wage as people who just started in september. sooo eff that. yeah.

i heart stress.

kinda freaking out. yup. here comes summer.

its the time of year where i stress out because of the whole term ending, projects due, exam time thing.

but adding to this, for really the first time ever, is my complete uncertanty about where i will be working this summer.

the summer camp job that was supposed to be my fall-back totally fell through [as i previously blogged about] and the lab jobs i dream of are not looking like they're going to be coming through for me either.

so where does that leave me?

the job i have now hires extra people for the summer, but i already made a big deal about not wanting to work there this summer. and working there = working weekends. which is shit because no one i know works weekends. all my friends do the real job thing and are thus off on weekends. plus i'm not even sure if they'll hire me for the summer because it is known that i'm looking for other things.

i just need a job. please. someone give me a job.

also stressing me out right now is the whole, what am i going to do with my life thing. i want to go to med school. pretty much more than i want to do anything. but i know that there is no way i will ever get in. my chances are probably actually zero.

so after an amazing compliment from someone on the weekend, i've started to reconsider the teacher option. high school biology would be awesome. maybe. i think about my high school bio teacher and she was amazing. if i could be her, it would be fantastic. but would i be happy doing the same thing every year for the rest of my life? the high school bio program is pretty much the exact same now that my youngest brother [7 years younger] is in grade 12 as it was when i was. gross. and as much as i worry about how i would deal with teaching, i wonder if i'd even get into an education program.

i'm beginning to feel a little hopeless.

interesting thoughts on colin firth

so just to be totally shallow, i have a comment.

colin firth just might be one of the most attractive men on the planet [in my opinion].

however.

he just might be one of the most awkward screen kissers i have ever seen. and i would not like to kiss him [much to my dismay].

this is colin getting coffee dumped on him as part of a make trade fair campaign in 2004. see? you questioned his atractiveness in the beginning. i know you did. but he supports oxfam so how can he not be hot?

plus...i'm strangly turned on by this. maybe i shouldn't rule anything out completely...

you can see the rest of the celebrities getting dumped on here
[incase you've never seen this before]

so. full.

i can't even begin to describe the disgusting eating habits i had today.

gross.

for breakfast i had an egg mcmuffin. lunch was a chicken schwarma pita from venus pizza. afternoon snack was a lot of icing.

it doesn't end there.

supper was fish and chips and after supper?

a pig out junk food feast, the likes of which have not been seen since the great dessert-a-thon of 2006. we had, fuzzy peaches, sour apple gummies, cheesies, chocolate almonds, mini eggs (regular and popping ones), nacho cheese doritos, ketchup chips, foil wrapped chocolate eggs, party mix, chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, cool whip, pepermint chocolate cookies, caramel chocolate cookies, aaaand....that might be it.

it's a wonder i was able to walk to my car.

what would your sign say?

i went to the afcoop frameworks screening tonight. it was fantastic. well, mostly. haha some of the films were a little "artsy", but i can appreciate the the work someone puts into their craft. one film showed while 3 people played live music in the theatre! it was awesome. drums, guitar and bass. it was a bass driven piece and just made me want to learn even more how to play.

so i went because a friend had an animation in the festival. it was about a lightening bug who falls in love with a neon sign. very cute.

i only have 2 classes tomorrow so i'm done at 11:30!! woo woo!! what am i going to do with another free afternoon? only time will well.

and now i'm going to bed. because i'm so tired.

happy spring, lovers!

and it's the first day of spring. beautiful. and it's sunny out! more beautiful! and my afternoon class was cancelled! what! is it even possible for this day to get any more amazing?

why yes it is.

i walked all the way downtown from school, i walked along the waterfront from the Keith's Brewery [which is pretty much my favourite thing ever, especially in the non-summer because this time of year it smells like ocean and not like harbour], took the ferry, got home and there was fudge on the kitchen table, and now, because i'm home and it's not even 3:00 i'm going to take a nap [because i was up till after 2 writing a paper that i thought was due tuesday next week, but turned out it was due yesterday...oops].

glorious!!

what's with today today?

so the song that starts your day sets the tone for the day. happens every time.

the lesson we learned was, no more random shuffle to start the day. only planned play lists of pre-approved morning songs.

green beer, random meetings, and crushes

oh st patty's day... such a useless holiday. it's just another excuse to get overly intoxicated. i saw a group of six girls at tim hortons at 8:30am all decked out in their st patty's gear. people were out drinking at 7am. that's too intense for me in every way. plus i had to work till 5. so no beer at 7am for me.

after work i headed down to the red stag to meet up with some friends and have a few beers. it was jammed. it was a pretty good time overall. i ran into a girl from work who was with her fiance and a bunch of their friends. turns out he is in the same program as my ecology ta. she was there. pretty hilarious actually. we bonded over green beer and she told me not to be awkward on tuesday in lab because we saw each other hammered. haha no worries.

so as the green beer continued to flow, i found myself with an awesome sparkly green hat, dancing with a random guy wearing a green mask, and jamming to signal hill. i think this was the first time i have ever partied for st patty's day and it was pretty fun. i would have liked it more if the people i was with were more about dancing and mingling and not just hanging out on couches, but it was still cool.

also as the night went on, i found myself realizing that i'm always really happy to see one particular person whenever i see them. which isn't really all that often. it's not going to turn into anything, but crushes are (sometimes) fun so we'll roll with it.

ok i'm gonna throw on a few pics (the rest are on facebook) and then get back to work. i have way to much homework to be wasting time like this...

so there were pics here, but i took them down. they're still on facebook so if you're my facebook friend you can see them there. if not, well, looks like you're out of luck.

self-conscious guitarist

i was just sitting in the sub where there are all kinds of chairs for just sitting and chilling and there was a guy sitting in the same area and he had a guitar. he wasn't singing, but he was playing and he was fantastic. and he was just sitting around playing. this wasn't any kind of performance thing.

i wish i could do that! i love playing my guitar almost more than anything. but i don't play for people. well, hardly ever. i play once i'm drunk at parties. then people don't really realize that i suck. heh. i really want to get better. i want to be as good as people who get up on stage and play. i might have to drop out of school and just play guitar all day long. wouldn't that be glorious?

and speaking of guitarists up on stage.... tomorrow = st pattys day = needing lots of beer = red stag = signal hill and wreckhouse = delicious. haha!

happy thursday!

so i worked today. i gave up my day off and worked. i haven't had an actual day off in 3 weeks. sooo tired.

anyway, working today was so much fun. it was insane, but fantastic.

i may have gotten my big break. yup. just give it some time. i'll be on the red carpet. with some super hot hollywood type on my arm. just wait.

oh. speaking of hot, hot dad's should always travel in groups. always.

p.s. tonight i watched are you smarter than a fifth grader?. and one of the questions was from 2nd grade geography. and it read, "what country is on the northern border of the us?". and the woman hesitated. and then asked the 5th grader for the answer (kind of like a lifeline). she didn't know the answer. she didn't know that canada was north of the us. i've never actually been that shocked by a stupid american before.

balls to that

so apparently 5 years of my science job and 2 summers working at a science day camp and 6 years of teaching swimming lessons is not enough to get you a job as an instructor with the science summer camps that the university puts on. but they did suggest i work as a volunteer. right. balls to that. are they kidding me? we go to the same school. we all know what tuition is. volunteering is awesome, but it doesn't pay the bills. that's something you do once a week. not for a summer.

i'm pretty pissed. i wrote back to my rejection email and asked for specific details about their reasons for not offering me an interview. they said competition was tough. competition was tough? i was the competition. they have no idea what they could have benefited from my experience. they didn't even talk to my references. i don't usually get over-confident about things, but seriously, not hiring me is their loss. i know that i'm great at my job and i'm great with kids. i've been teaching kids for nine years. nine years! so yeah. they lose out.

anderson cooper and the catholic religion

so last night on anderson cooper 360 they had a special. it was about a cnn anchor who was molested by a priest as a young man. it was upsetting and horrible and everything you'd imagine a story about molestation to be. in the end, it turned out that the priest only served 10 months of an 18 month sentence which was reduced from a 5 year sentence. incredible. and to top it all off, the vatican has not defrocked this man, and he continues to serve as a priest. it's outrageous.

ok, so how does anderson cooper fit into all this? i read an anderson cooper blog that isn't at all about trashy gossip. it's usually an intelligent discussion about the content of the show and pretty much doesn't discuss anderson at all. i mean, every so often there are mentionings of how anderson looked that night [his ties are discussed quite often and the frequency of his hair cuts...which is a little odd].

anyway, 360 has been somewhat lacking lately. they've gotten into a rut of showing repeated "specials" in the second hour of the show and repeating the same segments over and over. it was getting annoying and the show was dull so the discussion on the board started to get out of hand. the comments were always about what anderson was wearing or how he was looking and trips to the "naughty chair" for various dirty thoughts. that also got annoying. the blog authors are quite strict about not posting personal attacks on other people or comments about anderson's personal life. so when they stopped everyons comments about how hot/sexy anderson looked on a particular evening, the comments turned into cnn bashing. everyone complained about how the blog used to be full of intelligent discussion and they miss it.

so my point to this whole thing is, last night was amazing! sure it was another special but it was fantastic. it was hard to watch thomas roberts talk about what he went through and everything that came of it. there was plenty of points to fuel an intelligent discussion. this is part of the comment i left [not to presume my comment was all that intelligent, it was just my personal point of view]:

i thought last nights show was fantastic. thomas did an excellent job of telling his story, and so soon after coming forward with it. he is a brave man and i applaud him for trying to make a difference.
what i don't understand are all these catholic priests who molest young boys/men. seriously. how can you call yourself a man of God and behave this way? i am technically a catholic since i was baptised and confirmed (my parents wishes, not mine), but more and more i find myself embarrassed by my religion. their backwards thinking about birth control and condom use (even to prevent AIDS), their views on homosexuality, and these molestation cases (among other things) make it pretty impossible for me to call myself a member of the church.
i cannot believe that the vatican has not defrocked this man and that he is still working as a priest. that part of the story has me the most outraged. how can anyone have faith in an organization that won't do anything to protect its members from this kind of horrible abuse?

i was looking forward to read what everyone else had to stay on the subject. but you know what the comments ended up being? all about the great job anderson did interviewing thomas and how awful molestation must be. and about how people have been cnn bashing lately and how the comments have gotten out of control.

come on people! this was your opportunnity to speak your mind! give your opinion and have a discussion! what is wrong with the catholic religion? why won't the vatican defrock this priest? is it just that they're all a member of some "boys club"? what if the vatican relaxed its views on homosexuality? would that reduce the number of molestations? why don't we see this happening in other religions? why just catholisism?

i was looking forward to a huge discussion on the topic. but i guess it's not gonna happen. either way, the show was amazing and i wish that things would change within the catholic religion.

today was beautiful

oh my god it was awsome out today. spring is definitely coming and i love it.

after class i walked from school to all the way downtown to catch the bus and it was glorious. i love walking to catch the bus when it's nice out. and walking through the city is great. except when you get stuck walking behind slowbies. that's not fun. but it's fun when you run into people you know who are also walking because it's beautiful.

like today i ran into a friend. he left work early. so that was cool. and then i went to freak lunchbox and got a TON of candy. delicious. but because i walked so far downtown to catch the bus at a busy time of day, it was jammed and i had to stand. so that wasn't fun either.

but it was all worth it because i have a bag of red swedish fish, and bridge mixture. that's right, bridge mixture. maybe that makes me an old man, but i love it. especially the big jujube filled chocolate ones. yum. you can laugh. its ok. i'm secure in my lame candy choices. i also love roman nougat. and i'm not ashamed to say it!

ok. it's bed time. tomorrow = huge ecology assignment and group presentation. wish me luck.

only use two words to answer each question (yeah, i'm bored)

1. Explain What Ended Your Last Relationship: it's complicated

2. When Was The Last Time You Shaved?: last week

3. What Were You Doing This Morning At 8 a.m.? definitely sleeping

4. What Were You Doing 15 Minutes Ago?: facebook stalking

5. Are You Any Good At Math?: no way

6. Your Prom Night: super fun

7. Do You Have Any Famous Ancestors?: no idea

8. Have You Had To Take A Loan Out For School?: yes sir

9. Do You Know The Words To The Song On Your Myspace Profile?: by heart

10. Last Thing You Received In The Mail?: phone bill

11. How Many Different Beverages Have You Had Today?: maybe three?

12. Do You Ever Leave Messages On People's Answering Machine?: not usually

13. Who Did You Lose Your Concert "Virginity" To?: raine maida

14. Do You Draw Your Name In The Sand When You Go To The Beach?: yeah, sometimes

15. What's The Most Painful Dental Procedure You've Had?: tooth pulled

16. What Is Out Your Back Door?: my backyard

17. Any Plans For Friday Night?: probably homework

18. Do You Like What The Ocean Does To Your Hair?: love it

19. Have You Ever Received One Of Those Big Tins Of 3 Different Popcorns?: ha! yes!

20. Have You Ever Been To A Planetarium?: yes indeed

21. Do You Re-use Towels After You Shower?: yeah sometimes

22. Some Things You Are Excited About?: summer, surfing

23. What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Jell-O?: probably strawberry

24. Describe Your Keychain(s)?: billabong lanyard

25. Where Do You Keep Your Change?: circus tin

26. When Was The Last Time You Spoke In Front Of A Large Group Of People?: just yesterday

27. What Kind Of Winter Coat Do You Own?: columbia sport

28. What Was The Weather Like On Your Graduation Day?: which one?

29. Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?: usually closed

blah

orange bars
make me angry
when i see them
and that
makes me sad

oh canada!

ahhhhh!!!! guess what my newest plan is!!! a cross country train trip. oh yeah that's right.

it's not happening until next may because that's when the proposed travel companion will be back and have a free month. that's right, i said month. here's the deal:

30 days to go wherever via rail goes
12 train days
hop on and off as many times as you want

delicious!!

we're gonna take off on may 1 and come back may 30. haha! well, i don't know the exact dates, but that's the rough plan. we have to do it in may so we get the off season rates. june 1 is when they go up.

oh it will be glorious.

i know that next may is a loooong way off, but it's something to plan for. and other people can join in if they're serious about it. and if we deem you to be an acceptable traveling companion. because it's a month. on a train.

who's pumped?

this guy.

not the same, but nice try

a sparkly drumstick is not the same as a sparkly guitar. but it was a nice gesture. and i had a blast. so all is forgiven.

had a blast except for the creeper old men who try to be your best friend. not intersted. and driving around in snow storms is not fun either. but is deeply appreciated.

and tomorrow = work + interview. delicious. hopefully the mess is cleared before i leave for work.

one month

it's almost over. man, i can't wait for some summer vacation. even though i'm going to end up spending my days with brats at school. hahaha it'll be awesome.

actually, the cool thing about this potential camp job is the whole outreach thing. apparently you spend may and june going out to elementary schools putting on workshops for the kids. i love that kind of stuff. this job would actually be pretty awesome. and completely unlike the other day camps i did. because at these ones you're at the university and you get to do way more cool stuff. it'll be good. and kids are cool when they learn. i like it when they get all excited about what you just taught them.

so my other plans for summer include surfing until i'm a superstar. and that is all. everyone is welcome to join me. but i want to surf all the time. because i love it and i have the board and i never do it.

i don't think i have anything else to say. this was mainly just so i could put off paper writing.

p.s. lower deck on friday!! ow ow!! [unless its a horrible horrible snow storm. then we probably won't. which is sad. so hope for no snow]