Tuesday, October 31, 2006

the long morrow

that is true love.

happy halloween!











ok. i admit, an anderson cooper pumpkin? maybe that's a bit too much. but come on! its totally awesome at the same time. you know it.

and no. i did not carve it.



this is the picture it is based on:

Monday, October 30, 2006

yeeaaaa!!!

who got a B on their first ever philosophy paper? THIS GUY!!!

i want to jump and scream and do cartwheels.



so. happy.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

i heart mitch albom

i've never been a witness to his skills as a sports broadcaster, but i love love LOVE his skills as a writer. maybe tuesdays with morrie was too sentemental. but i liked it. and the five people you meet in heaven was touching and really made me think. today i bought his new book, for one more day. i'm excited. i probably shouldn't be doing things like buying new books when i have school work to be doing, but i can't control myself when i go to chapters.

and that wasn't the only book i bought. i also got my secret. the new postsecret book. man, i don't know what it is about those postcards, but i'm hooked. the happy ones, the sad ones, the crazy ones, i love them all.

before i read anything i got today, i need to read some ethics. boo.

also, after missing out on the lower deck last night, i'm feeling the itch.

i need some reese's cups...


ps. 3 MONTHS TILL I'M 25!!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

pissed.

i realize that bitching people out in a public forum probably isn't the wisest/most mature thing to do, so i won't do it, but i'm so tired of the bullshit.

this was the only guilt free weekend.

also i'm more pissed than i normally would be because i'm angry at myself for other things. don't you hate that? the affect that other people have on you? and it's completely out of your control. bastards.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

yeah slide



















i want to go to the goo goo dolls concert so bad i can taste it.

pearls of wisdom from grandpa timberlake

so i'm still awake [i have no idea why] and watching the tonight show for what could possibly be the first time ever. and justin timberlake is on. which is quite a treat. haha! anyway, he tells this story that his grandfather told him when he was about 10. i'm going to tell it to you now.

so once there was this dog. and the dog walked the same route everyday. along this route there were train tracks he crossed. so one day the dog is walking his route and the end of his tail gets caught in the train tracks. so he gets a little panicked because he looks down the tracks and he sees the train coming. so he doesn't know what to do and instead of pulling on his tail to try to get it out of the tracks, he turns his head around and tries to use his teeth to pull his tail out of the tracks. and just then the train comes by and the dog gets his head ripped off.

moral of the story?

don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.


excellent lesson.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

am i argumentative?

i like to think i only argue when provoked. with some people, it happens more often. i don't purposefully pick fights or try to force my opinions on other people.

i need some feedback here.

does it seem like i always need to be right?

because i'm finding myself more and more annoyed every time i talk to a few people. every single time, i end up pissed. i hate feeling this way... and i hate that i think its the other person always needing to be right. because things happen like, i get asked a question, or for my opinion, and no matter what i say, i'm wrong. or they already know. so why am i even being asked? and why do i always listen to people whine about the same problems over and over and over again? not that what i have to say is all that pressing or important, but can't anyone listen to me whine? just a little bit? and yes. i realize i'm being selfish. but everyone needs to whine a little bit sometimes and needs people to listen to them do it.

oh my god i'm so annoyed.


and another thing. watching madonna on oprah and listening to her talk about her messed up adoption does not make you an expert on world events and the situation in africa. madonna on oprah. seriously? that's where you're getting your information.

we are definitely a tabloid nation.

i need to go for a run.

or someone to hug.

bus blogging

you know whats great about having a laptop? bus entertainment. seriously. i think of it everyday but usually i'm not in a position to haul it out and make it work. but today, everything is working out in my favour! i wrote my tutorial response question thing for my philosophy class. i didn't send it because i have no internet, but its written. i waste 2 hours a day on this damn bus. not to mention walking to and from the bus stop. i wish busses had internet access. that would be superb. imagine what i could accomplish then! the only thing that's creepy is the woman who isn't directly beside me, there is one set between us, she keeps trying to read my screen. does she think i don't realize she's doing it? it makes me think of that commercial for the screen cover thing and the guy is on the airplane and the 2 guys on either side of him keep trying to read his screen. haha that's such a funny commercial.

speaking of commercials, my ethics class today was about living the good life and what does that actually mean, the "good" life. so obviously we got into a huge discussion about consumerism and all of its negative aspects. that's one thing that i'm realizing about philosophy [this class anyway], it's so negative. all this class does is talk about negative things. how horrible people are and how fucked up our society is. it brings me down. anyway, i'm not saying that we don't all lead overly commercialized lives. we do. but i don't think that there is anything we can do about it. we live in the society we live in and that isn't going to change. sitting in my philosophy class with a bunch of people who think the same thing is pointless. its like preaching to the choir. we know there is a problem. the preaching needs to be done to the people who don't think there are any problems out there. but maybe i don't get it. i never claimed to be a philosopher. today the prof asked the question, who feels a sense of fulfillment?. out of the whole class, i'd say 3 people raised their hands.

i don't know where i was going with that.... is this me having a non-argument with myself? wow. that's pretty bad. its bad enough when you have non-arguments with other people, but with yourself? yikes.

the people sitting in front of me are being all kissy. i'm gonna puke.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

parisian weddings and oldies tunes

if lorelai and chris come back from paris married, i will not be a happy girl.

and what was up with luke being at the town meeting? and participating? luke hates town meetings.

weird.



i did like how they played a little jay and the americans at the end of the episode. come a little bit closer. [you're my kind of man. so big and so strong.] how can you not love oldies? the boppy tune, the innocent lyrics... i can just see the poodle skirts twirling. even though this song is from 1964.

what's with today, today?

i over slept. i missed my lab. i missed the squid dissection. but my other lab was great. i think that genetics is really interesting, but i suck at it.
i need to write my ethics proposal. i am not really sure how to go about doing that.
i came across this picture on a friends msn space. i think it was taken at one of the tequila parties that happened back in may.

i miss my guitar. even though it is sitting right there. i can almost touch it from here. but i miss it. i haven't played in weeks. it is starting to collect dust. i keep thinking i should put it in its case, but then i feel like if i put it away, i really won't play. there was a guitar class that i wanted to take at school this year. but i wasn't sure how i felt about dragging my guitar back and forth to shcool. on the bus...could be annoying. so i didn't take it. i'm kinda sad. i wish i lived closer to school. imagine how much better i'd be if i took that class. sigh.

maybe i'll play just one song...


p.s.

song of the day

now if i wrote you a love note
and made you smile with every word i wrote

what would you do

would that make you wanna change your scene
and wanna be the one on my team

tell me would you

- justin timberlake

Monday, October 23, 2006

i'm probably gonna go to hell for this...

people who read the bible on the bus freak me out.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

non-drunken nights at cheers

i know i said no more 4am blogging, but i'm not completely breaking the rules. i am not drunk. i write this with a clear head. i know, amazing, eh? i survived a saturday night at cheers sober. but i had my buds and my boys [not really my boys. i just think they're super] so it was a good time.

a high point of the evening was the awesome chats that were had during the band's down time. being used for your table isn't so bad when the company ends up being hilarious and fantastic. can the tables be turned? if i don't have a table and want to sit, can i go find where our table moocher is sitting and mooch off that table? curious.

we lost one member of our group towards the end of the evening. not sure where he wandered off to. but it was good he came out.

anyway, its definitely time for bed. i kinda wish the cabbie had stopped at mcdonalds. i could use a burger. starving. maybe tomorrow on my way to work. ugh. work. shoot me. come visit.

Friday, October 20, 2006

AHHHH!!! SO EXCITED!!!!

oh my god. guess what just happened.

ok. way back in march, i went to the great big sea concert when they were here. i somehow managed front row seats and they allowed picture taking so i got some prime shots. the great big sea website wanted people to send in their shots from the tour and they'd post them on the website. so i sent in a whole bunch. but then they never got posted! i was pissed!

HOWEVER

today i got an e-mail from helen, who is part of the great big sea team, and she said that my pictures really stood out from the bunch and she kept them in a separate folder for potential use at a later date. now. that could be bullshit. maybe she kept everyones pictures and this e-mail got sent to like, 3000 other people. but what she said was that she wanted to use one of my pictures for the great big sea 2007 calendar! hahaha! how funny is that! she said that the picture would be credited with my name and i'd get a free calendar when they were printed! I'm pretty excited because i'm a huge great big sea fan.

i wonder if it's gonna be like, a big picture for a month, or just like, a little down in the corner picture....curious...

BUT EXCITED!!!!!

also today, i spoke for the first time ever in my philosophy tutorial. know what i said? "the sum of the square of the sides of a right angle triangle is equal to the square of the hypoteneuse". who's a geek? this guy.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

are you kidding me?

you are so full of shit it's not even funny. just stop talking. you're driving me crazy.

it's a dinglehopper

so after an hour long battle to find all the required cords, remote controls and whatnot to make a vcr work [yeah, a vcr. remember video tapes? big rectangle things?], i am now watching the little mermaid. oh man. i want it on dvd SO BAD!
its funny because i'm watching this for the first time in years and i still know every single word. oh man. i love this movie. and it never really occured to me before [probably because i was like, 8 the last time i watched this], but ariel is only 16. she's running off and getting married at 16! that's a little young, don't you think? but i guess it was way back in the days of princes and sailing ships.
and when ariel is sitting on the side of the ship and she's trying to point eric out to scuttle, she says, the one playing the snarffblat. wouldn't that have been the old guy? and what exactly are those little things that ursela turns the merpeople into?
i need this dvd.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

pictures pictures!!

i love my girlies...




rain rain

usually the worst thing about the rain is how the bottoms of my jeans get all wet cuz they touch the ground and then my legs are cold and my feet are cold when i get home and when i sit on my legs in class [which i do all the time] my ass gets wet. but the worst thing about the rain today was i was wearing my pumas. and they got wet. bitches.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

media ratings and tabloid stories

so the most recent post on my favourite anderson cooper blog, all things anderson is about ratings [news specific] and what kind of trash people are interested in. you can read it here. it was stated by sheryn [the author of the post] that john mark karr did an interview with larry king, and right after was on fox. so to make sure that you don't change the channel, cnn dedicated the first half hour of anderson cooper 360 to analyzing the karr interview. complete with experts on law and psychology. that way, you'd stick wtih cnn for something new than switch to fox for another interview. amazing how the cable news world works. but not surprising. as i've said before, the news media is nothing but a bunch of blood-thirsty, ratings-hungry story-tellers. i have little to no faith in anything i see on the news. maybe i'm overly critical, but that's what happens.

my point to this whole thing is that it's disgusting that cnn even agreed to interview him. and that there was a ratings battle over it. who cares! people are rediculous! why do you want to give this guy the time of day? the more interested people are in him, the more he is going to get out of it! he's going to end up with a book deal or something and that is just wrong.
so sheryn asks the question, "are we a tabloid nation?". the answer is definitely yes. a ratings war over scum like john mark karr? there are way more important things going on in the world. can you say, nuclear north korea? and even if cnn feels the need to stay within their own country, that's fine! there is plenty going on there! they have an election coming up!

i didn't watch anderson cooper last night. because i just don't care about karr or what he has to say. i left a comment on ata about this post [which i thought was awesome - the post, not my comment] but i think it got mis understood. someone commented back that to not watch 360 just because we don't like a story is to cut our noses off to spite our face. if we don't watch, 360 gets low ratings, and then we lose 360 [except she said we lose anderson]. i wasn't not watching to try to damage cnn. this wasn't about teaching them a lesson. i just didn't care. and she writes back,

"Lastly, you're right that money drives so much of what goes on. If he gets a book deal, it's because people will buy the book. They don't give book deals if they don't believe they will make money on it."

obviously. but that's the frustrating part. that people will buy it. and someone will make money. that's what makes me mad. the fact that people are so frigging nosey about the most retarded things! why do you want to read all the fucked up details? all these interviews and books aren't about trying to figure him out for the greater good. they knew he was trouble in 2001 and they blew it. they lost the evidence. all the signs were there and they knew he was sketchy. now its about money. frigging greedy bastards who just see dollar signs.

i'm so frustrated i can't even think straight.

welcome to today!

man, i am in a great mood. and i had to get up at 6:00 this morning. it doesn't even matter! today is great. so far. it is so nice out, i went to freak lunchbox and got some candy, my worm lab was fun [yes, i said worm], and i got an awesome present last night from miss mellie's new york trip.
WHO LOVES REESE CUPS!!! oh man. that's right. that tin is full of little mini reese cups. and you know what the little reese cup in front is? LIP GLOSS!! haha that's right. it tastes so good. who wants a kiss? there is nothing wrong with tasting like reese cups. especially if you love them as much as i do. and the bowl! i love bowls. i have this bowl with a cow on it that i got as a happy moving in gift from my old roommate and i love it. even though that friendship went completely sour...but whatever. this is about the frigging wicked reese bowl! look at that! and the inside has a picture of a reese cup! i'm afraid to add it to the pile of dishes for my retard family to use. it's bad enough that moo bowl is out in the mix. man, happy days. and there is a new gilmore girls on tonight. can today get any better? i don't think so. too bad i have to study for my climate change exam i have tomorrow. boo-urns. oh well. i have the weekend to look forward to! the most fun ever dr. poo's birthday dessert-a-thon on friday and the second most fun ever on saturday with shameless [except i feel a little weird about the last time i saw them...]! ah great times. great times indeed.

Monday, October 16, 2006

my touch, eh?

you are rain



you can be warm and sexy. or cold and unwelcoming.
either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

you are best known for: your touch

your dominant state: changing

who likes music!

i just wanted everyone to know that i am in love with the new killers cd. in. love. i was pretty head over heals for their first cd and i was scared that this one wouldn't live up to my expectations, but it totally did. so happy.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

sleepy saturday night

after the good times on thursday night, i woke up friday feeling kinda gross and assumed it was a hangover. but saturday i still felt gross and i gained a stuffy nose. sucks.

anyway, because i was in no shape for anything last night, i laid in bed and watched stupid movies on the w network. jersey girl was supposed to be on and even though it's a whole lotta bennifer cheese, i was gonna watch it [ben affleck is hot. admit it]. but they showed some random movie that did not have ben affleck in it. turns out, there is another movie called jersey girl. from 1992 with dylan mcdermott. it was cute! total chick flick. i mean, to the max. the girl saw the guy, wanted the guy, went for the guy, got the guy, the guy broke her heart and in the end, she got a grand gesture, kissing in a downpour AND the love of her life. does the world get any better than that? i don't think so. now the ben affleck version is on. man, i'm on a mushy movie roll. i watched the notebook this afternoon. how hot are ryan gosling and rachel mcadams? i had a huge crush on ryan gosling when he was on breaker high! haha don't laugh, you know you remember it! anyway, i didn't really like the notebook. but i love the 2 of them, so i had to see it.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

beer + free beer =

drunken blogging. damnit.

wasn't that a rule? no more blogging at 3am? yeah, i thought so. delete...

but the night was so worth it. i had a blast. i got a birthday celebration sprung on me 2 hours before it was to begin. we hit dooly's, the pogue and half of us made it to the ale house on the promise that friends were bartending so there would be free beer. the birthday boy went home at midnight. what a trooper. but a former coworker, 2 people i hadn't met before thursday night and i left the pogue and went to the ale house. the new folks i met were great. boot camp friends of the birthday boy. i don't know their first names because they were introduced to me by their last names! anyway, the ale house was fun. it was not a double date, but thanks for asking. jealous is cute. no worries.
out on a school night kicked my ass. never again.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

always on duty.

who says day-time tv is shit? inspector gadget is on! no way! i frigging love this show!
i always wanted to be just like penny. i loved her computer book! i used to have this musical book thing and i would pretend that it was my computer book. but my dog wasn't as smart as brain.
and dr claw should just give up. he's never going to "destroy gadget!". penny will always save the day. or he'll just live through his clueless bumbling.
i remember being little and at my babysitters house watching this show. it was on at noon and i used to lie on her livingroom floor and watch it every day. it's amazing that i remember that. i stopped getting babysat there when i was 4.
i also used to have nightmares about what dr claws face looked like. becaues they never ever showed it. so i assumed it was awful.
go go gadget imagination!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

books. love them.

one book that changed your life

dispatches from the edge - anderson cooper [more...eye opening than life changing, but it had an impact none the less. i know. lame. but true.]

one book you've read more than once

east of eden - john stienbeck [and you thought your family was messed up]

one book you’d want on a desert island

persuasion - jane austin [unrequited love. what could be better?]

one book that made you laugh

the stinky cheese man and other fairly stupid tales - jon scieszka & lane smith [yeah it's a kids book. so what? read it. you'll laugh so hard you'll snot on the page. so get your own copy. see? i'm just like a kid]

one book that wracked you with sobs

the time traveler's wife - audrey niffenegger [sobs isn't even the right word. but bawling doesn't mean bad. possibly my favourite book]

one book you wish had never been written

mostly harmless - douglas adams [book 5 in hitchhiker series - stupid he should have quit while he was ahead]

one book you’re currently reading

genetics: a conceptual approach - benjamin a. pierce [no time for real reading. only textbooks]

one book you’ve been meaning to read

the two towers - j.r.r. tolkien [i know! i'm sorry! i only read the first one!]

if you give a pig a party

is that anything like, if you give a mouse a cookie?

i was reading the list of winners of the quill awards, which are awards given to authors. it's kind of a people's choice thing. anyway, i noticed that for children's illustrated, the winner was if you give a pig a party, by laura joffe numeroff. as soon as i read the title i thought of this book i had when i was a kid called if you give a mouse a cookie. i loved that book! it was so cute! i highly recommend it to anyone who has not read it. so anyway, turns out that this book is by the same person! i need to read it! i know what kind of trouble that mouse gets into for a cookie. i can only imagine the shenanigans that a pig at a party gets into! i think that a trip to chapters is most definitely needed.

if you want to read the article, you can do so here.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

this song makes me want to cry. every time.

she lets herself go like an angel in the snow
she lays down on her back
down on her back - she goes

take me over when i'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when i'm gone
will they burn for me

she pulls me in and strips me down
she pulls me in and turns me out
she pulls me in and strips me down to the ground

-dishwalla

Monday, October 09, 2006

stewart/colbert '08

all i can say is, how awesome would that be?

read it

turkey dinner #2

so in light of the fact that i am having another turkey dinner today, i decided i would list a few things that i am thankful for because there are people out there who aren't even getting one regular dinner, let alone one turkey dinner. and i'm having two. so here we go.

i am thankful for my family being happy and healthy, having a roof over my head, two turkey dinners on the table, my dog, all my friends, my job that i love, the fact that i live in a beautiful peaceful country, my university education, [hopefully] the opportunity to go to ethiopia, for all the loser fun i have [*cough*shameless*cough*], my guitar, and broccoli salad.

so i think that just scratches the surface of all the things that i have to be thankful for.

have you made your list?

Sunday, October 08, 2006

happy turkey day

i. am. so. full. i love turkey dinners with my family. yum.
but for as much as i love the eating, i don't always love the sitting around and chatting that happens after. they are always asking me where my boyfriend is and why i never bring him around the family. well, first off, there is no boyfriend. i'm getting a little tired of answering questions about it. like, why don't you have a boyfriend? what do you say to that? but i guess that's their job, eh? as my fmaily, they need to torment me about stuff like that. and they love me and they're great and i only get to see them a couple of times a year. so it's all good.
anyway, as much fun as i had with my family eating turkey, it totally kicked my ass. i'm so tired now! i need to have a turkey nap! i need to do my ethics write up first though.

maybe after one more piece of pie...

Saturday, October 07, 2006

lookie what i found!

so i was digging through my desk and found some old zip disks from my design school days. i wanted to see what was on them so that meant digging out my zip drive. of course it was the most difficult thing ever to find. anyway, i got it and there were some good things on them! so i'm gonna share some of them with you now.
first we have the chicken. this came from an illustration for an article. i don't really remember what the article was about...ink blot tests or something. i drew a little guy looking at at ink blot and then this chicken was in his little thought bubble. everyone in my class loved the chicken for some reason and he kinda became my trademark. he ended up on everything i did. it was really weird. i mean, don't get me wrong, i love the little guy, but it was just a 2 second illustrator drawing. anyway, that's the story of the chicken. i'm actually really happy that i found this file. i don't have the file of the whole drawing he's from though. i wonder where that is...
this picture was a drawing i did from another drawing. it was to teach technique with these fancy coloured pencils [that cost like $35/box...and i needed 2 boxes]. it took me HOURS to do this. oh man, you had to layer the colours...like, start with the lightest colour that could be the base of the whole thing, and then the next colour and the next and the next. so some places have like, 10 layers of colour. i just sat and watched tv and coloured for hours. i ended up getting totally impatient with it and kinda started slacking on it a bit in the end. which resulted in me only getting a B on it. but i think that that also had something to do with the fact that the teacher hated me. but whatever.
oh the still life. this took hours too. and i had no idea what to draw. the criteria was, draw anything. so this is a random collection of things i have in my room. some parts of it i am so amzingly happy with i could do a dance. but then other parts i'm not so thrilled with. i won't point out the problem areas. i'll let you decide for yourself. but i know that i'm being overly criticle of myself because in the class critique it was picked out as one of the best and i got an A on it. fantastic.
hahahaha do you know what this is? this was for a self portrait project. the rules were, marks would be awarded for creativity. so if you just sat down with a pencil and did a drawing of your face, it could be completely the most amazing thing to ever be represented in graphite but you're not going to get an A because its not at all creative. so i found these rediculous colours of clay in my house and just was being a moron more than anything, but in the end, it totally worked out so i handed it in. the teacher loved it. i got a little bit of flack for the extreme colours, but the whole clay thing wasn't planned! i just fell on it! so that's the story of clay me. and its way more impressive in person. i still have it. haha!
and last but not least, we have the mirror drew barrymore. for this we had to find a photograph of a persons face, cut it in half right down the middle, and then draw what we saw on the photograph on the other side. so it ended up being a mirror image. we were suppoed to find pictures of people who were looking straight on. because if it wasn't straight on, you'd get an odd mirror image. kinda like i did. its funny because the photograph really did look pretty straight on. but the drawing looks weird. i really liked that project. also, surprise surprise, it took hours.

so those are a few of the things i did in design school. i miss art classes. i want to take some more. i really want to take the black and white photography class at nscad but its a few hundred dollars to register plus i have to buy film and all that...i'm not made of money. so looks like no.

ok, now i just want to say that there should be some way for blogger to know that you're drunk when you're typing things, and not let you do it. holy drunken blogging batman. i'm not going to delete it because i wrote it and its been there all day, but i'm going to try to never drunk blog again. ever.

last night, in my drunken state, i somehow ended up in a wrestling match. my stomach feels all bruised. owie.

this is a really long post, but it's worth it.

drunken

i am way too drunk to deal with tomorrow. its 3:15am. ugh. i have to get up at 7:30.

also, my love for anderson cooper goes way WAY beyond my physical attraction for him.

and i had a huge discussion [as serious as one can get when 6 to 8 beer have been consumed] about what is attractive and what i am looking for and what i deserve in a relationship. it was decided amongst the group that i deserve way more than what i want at this moment in time. but i think that i deserve exactly what i want. i know what i want and what kind of people want me and i think that what i want is exactly right for me at this time [i don't know who wants me at this exact moment in time, but i know the people who used to want me, are not what i want. but the people i want are exactly what i'm looking for, as far as i know].

ok. it is 3:20am. anderson cooper 360 is on and talking about the humanitarian crisis in Africa. I still need to call the student loan people to find out if i can go to Africa. it all rests on them. which sucks. because i'd like to go more than anything. too bad i'm not independently wealthy.

Friday, October 06, 2006

random thoughts

i love the cadbury commercial with the little chocolate man and the song and it says,
"and if a shark came up and tried to bite you,
you could say i'm chocolate i invite you"
hahaha so funny.

pour some sugar on me makes an excellent ringtone. so does big machine by the goo goo dolls.
i can't decide which one i want.

i am NOT going to the goo goo dolls concert because no one wants to go with me.
pissed.

i saw the best of she-ra: princess of power dvd at hmv today and i wanted to buy it. but didn't. maybe some day.

i can't design 2 ads in 3 days when i have 800 million other things to do.

i need to start drawing more. i miss it.

superman band-aids ARE cool. so shut up.

nothing smells better than fresh cut grass. nothing.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

asshole

man, what is wrong with me? why do i attract such fucking morons? am i a bad person? do i deserve this shit? i didn't even do anything wrong and i feel like i kicked a baby. HE came onto ME. I had NOTHING to do with it. i mean, i was there and it takes two but he wouldn't stop and i was drunk and i didn't sleep with him, despite what he's told people. it's shitty because i really like his girlfriend. and i told him to back off. but she doesn't like me because she thinks i'm gonna steal him away from her. know what? he is all yours. i have zero interest. zero. and it happened like 5 months ago! why am i still dealing with this? and why is he still telling people? doesn't he remember how it turned out the last time he was telling people stuff? apparently he didn't learn his lesson. i feel like shit. i've been used and hurt before, but it always went away. i can't seem to get away from this. i feel disgusting.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

ugh.

why am i still putting myself through this? it's all awesome when i'm in the moment, but after, i spend days being pissed off about it. and then i end up talking about it, and i get even more pissed off. but it'll blow over, and i'll forget about it for a while, and then i'll be right back in it. and the whole thing will start again. because it always does.

law students are hot

it's true. there is a hot law student sitting across from me right now. and he has a mac. awesome. i see hot law students in the computer science building all the time. i don't know what it is about them.

there is one major downfall of the law student though. and that is, they're law students.

damnit.

man, nothing frustrates me as bad as i frustrate myself. how is that even possible? there are some things/people out there who make me pretty crazy. but nothing comes close to what i do to myself.
i just wrote a plant diversity midterm. it was 30 multiple choice questions. and it was so easy! like, these questions, not tricky at all. but because i'm such a retard slacker, i hardly studied at all. i definitely passed the exam, but if i had actually put the time in, i could have probably gotten like, 100 on this. i'm such a moron! can somebody please kick me? seriously.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

bedtime music

tied up in ancient history
i didnt believe in destiny
i look up you're standing next to me
what a feeling

-aqualung

a lesson









the last 2 numbers are 1 and 29. that's my birthday.

*sigh*

my baby has been diagnosed.
it's not good.
chanandler needs a new screen.
and i don't have $700.

:(

Monday, October 02, 2006

nervous! nervous, nervous!

ok. i get up in front of crowds and talk all the time! ALL THE TIME!! so why is it that my stomach is in knots over this stupid plant lab presentation tomorrow morning? i have no idea! i will have notes in front of me, and up on a screen. i don't get that when i usually get up in front of crowds! i do things like light money on fire! i should be more nervous about that than talking about flowers!

and poor chanandler still has his line. so he won't be able to assist in the presentation. so that means that we'll have to use my partners laptop. hopefully he remembers to bring it AND his connector for the projector. dun dun dun....

ok. i need a break.

i can only take so much reading about the hisotry of the angiosperm. seriously. did you know that the history of the angiosperms had been a subject and debate for many years? Darwin called the origin of the angiosperms an "abominable mystery". It appeared to him that the angiosperms had simply appeared in the fossil record with no obvious ancestors, in the early Cretaceous period. There is argument that angiosperms did exist as early as the Jurassic period (the Nymphaeaceae (water lily)). There is also an argument for "angiosperm-like" pollen in the Late-Triassic period, however it is rare. In most cases it makes up less than 1% of Triassic palynofloras and for the most part, this idea is rejected.
Angiosperms are thought to be monophyletic (all descendants derived from a common ancestor) and there are an abundance of fossils from the mid-cretaceous period, however, abundance does not mean origin, so the exact time of angiosperm origin is still widely debated. It is thought that insects played a major role in angiosperm development so the evolution of both need to be explored to fully understand angiosperm origin (according to some). Even geographic origin is widely debated between high-latitudes, and a more tropical location and migrated from there. [http://www.sunstar-solutions.com/sunstar/Why02/why.htm http://www.geocities.com/we_evolve/Plants/angiosperm.html]

exciting.

anyway, the lower deck posted pictures from the other night so i'm gonna put some up here. i always look like a moron in pictures.


chanandler! what has happened!

today is a sad day. this morning, when i opened my beloved ibook [named chanandler] i noticed a strange line across the screen. i had a panic attack and tried restarting thinking maybe he was just a little scrambled. restart did nothing! the line is there! it isn't all that distracting because its about half an inch from the bottom of the screen, but still. upsetting. if this just ends up being the first of many problems with chanandler, i'm in trouble. i can't afford to fix or replace him. but i don't think he's that old...he'll be 3 in february...that's not too bad. hopefully nothing else happens....

p.s. this is completely unrelated, but everyone should watch anderson cooper 360 this week [11pm-1am ast]. they will be reporting from darfur and the congo about everything that is going on. i'm glad that this is now going to be in the 'real' news and not just on entertainment tonight because george clooney is involved.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

and bed time.

so i'm going to bed. right now. i didn't write the ethics critical response [but i did read the article]. or work on my angiosperm projeect. because all i wanted to do was sleep. all day. oh well.

i can't believe how crazy i'm going for last night. sorry. it was just so much fun and exactly what i needed.

was it worth it?

i am so tired. and i have so much school work to do. so were the fun times worth it? i'll answer that later. it will depend on whether or not i get my ethics critical response written or not. and if i do any work on my angiosperm lab project. but i definitely had fun. those girls at our table were hilarious. i'm glad they sat with us.
i'm such a fool when i'm drunk. i always think back on the night and just think oh man...i'm such a moron... i don't ever do anything overly stupid. i just feel foolish. and camera phones should not be allowed in the hands of drunk people. trouble! and the pictures are always all grainy and dark. i think they'd turn out better if the flash was used, but you have to actually set the flash for every picture and who wants to screw around with that when they're drunk and just want to take the picture? plus the flash on my phone actually blinds people. yeah, i'm not kidding. if you look into the flash, your eyes will burn out of your head. so i never really use it anyway.
i'm deciding right now that last night was totally worth it. if i hadn't gone out last night i would have actually gone insane. and now the month of october is going to be pretty busy for me so there probably won't be any drunken nights until some time in november. which is good. because i can't afford it, and its so much more fun when it only happens every once and a while. well, maybe there will be one. i think there is one weekend in october that is in the middle of the crazyness and i could justify a night of beer filled fun. yeah, i'm gonna say the weekend of october 28 will be a good weekend for some beer. oh man. that's another month away. that seems to be my limit. so thats good.

[on a completely unrelated note, john king, as great as he is, talks waaaay too fast. i find it hard to keep up with him. and obviously hilary is going to defend the work bill did as president...waste of time to hear what she has to say about it.]

alright. enough of this wasting of time. man, if there were a procrastination olympics, i'd win the gold medal in every event.

oh, and i thought that i was super lame for having sexyback as my ringtone [everyone needs a little justin timberlake in their day] but as it turns out, of the 5 girls i was with last night, 3 of us have the same ringtone. haha awesome.

and i almost forgot! pictures! this was last night. there are more, but my phone is being a bitch and won't send them. so we've got some pictures of some shameless cuties, shawn and luke, and then two lovey ladies. but its really dark. boo. and luke is cuter than shawn [even with the scruff ;)].



nothing better

ok. there is nothing better than a beer filled saturday night at the lower deck. wait. yes there is. its better when that beer filled night inclueds friends you haven't seen in a long time, and shameless. i. love. shameless. its true. what can i say. i had more fun tonight than i've had in quite some time. at least the last month. probably the last like 6 months. i know i've seen shameless in that time, but after having not seen them in well...like 4 weeks...which is a long time whe you see them like, every weekend, it was better than ever before. i'm so tired and it's almost 4am and i have so much work to do tomorrow, but it was totally worth it. shameless, beer, lower deck, mcdogfood...doesn't get any better. i wanted to attach a picture in their honour, but i don't have a picture of all of them. so no picture at this time.
i would like to apologize to someone if i was too annoying and talkie while things were trying to get done. i just miss the chats. and seriously, best hugs ever. thank you.
and now it's bed time.