some pictures?

so this was friday night at cheers. i finally got the pictures. these are some of them.

so despite the look on my face in picture 1, this was taken at the very beginning of the night. there was not that much beer consumed at this point in the evening. i was laughing. it was unexpected. see number 2. its much better when i know it's coming. lets talk about her shirt... i did the drawing. do you love it? anyway, apparently, the guitar player doesn't like it when she wears her, "i'm with the drummer" tshirt. so she wanted one for him. she couldn't find one, so i used my illustrator skills and drew her one up. i guess he loved it. i included a picture of the guitar player in question. he loved the shirt, she loves him. but that's a whole different topic. and then the co-worker! it was so funny how we came to realize our mutual love of local 80's cover bands... and the girls love the beer. one more than the other apparently...which is classy... and then we have a nice little shot of some of the band. no flash is the way to take pictures. i'm pretty surprised it turned out actually. and finally, a gratuitous sparkle guitar shot...couldn't be helped.

creepy.

so back on august 27 i wrote about a weird, seemingly accurate horoscope i read. and like i said then, i really don't take horoscopes to heart. i really don't. but in the case of this one, i think that i didn't follow its advice and things are going to end up like it said they would. i can pretty much put my finger on the exact thing i did that was me not doing what it suggested i do. and so here i am. the funniest thing is, it would have been so easy. it wasn't like, you will travel to exotic places. it was really small.

consoling me at this moment? anderson coopers tie really brings out his eyes. i've stopped listening to the annoying what do americans think because it's voting time babbling. trying to analyze what americans are thinking is stupid and useless. all these polls are split like 47%/53%. you're not going to be able to figure out what way it's going to go. the only poll that isn't split down the middle is, are americans happy with the way things are going. 10% are happy, 90% aren't. but you know what? they weren't happy the last time there was an election and ended up with bush again. so i'd say just let it go and wait to see what happens. lets just focus on anderson's eyes....

what would make you head-butt someone?

the zidane head-butt on materazzi that rocked the world cup was all over the news for a while after it happened. they had to go to fifa hearings and pay fines, but neither of them ever told exactly what was said. there was all kinds of speculation. it was reported that materazzi said everything from insulting zidane's mother/sister, to accusing him of being a terrorist. professional lip readers were brought in and the men were asked repeatedly. and now, just when you thought you'd just have to go through life not knowing what was said, it has come out. materazzi finally tells us what he said. apparently, while pulling on zidane's shirt, zidane said something like, 'if you want my shirt so bad i'll give it to you afterwards'. and materazzi said, 'i'd prefer your sister'. now, i don't have a sister, so i can't really say what i'd do in the same situation, but i'm assuming i woudln't head-butt someone. i've had people make comments like that about my brother and i've never hit anyone for it. and especially in a situation like that, you know it's not a serious thing. he's obviously just trying to get you worked up. zidane has been playing the game long enough to know that. but whatever. now we know what was said. we can all finally sleep soundly.

calm now

ok. so i took a shower, relaxed and now i'm good. we can return to our regularly scheduled blogging.

first i want to start off by saying, i was very sad to hear about steve irwin. i love the crocodile hunter. people try to look for the positive thing in a tragedy like this and i guess you can say at least he died doing what he loved. not that there is really anything positive about it at all. the attention it is getting is crazy. the prime minister of australia said some really great things about him. when you see all kinds of media attention for someone who has died, like an entire country is heartbroken, do you ever think about who will be heartbroken when it's you? kind of a depressing line of thinking. but i can't help it. either way, steve irwin dying is awful. he was great.

on a little bit of a happier note, i had a totally fun filled weekend. friday night at cheers was awesome. i ran into a girl i used to work with so that was super fun. we bonded over our love of shameless when we worked together. we were fast friends. as it turned out, i didn't get a sparklecaster. its ok. i'll wait. but i did get a picture of it! look how beautiful it is! too bad i'd had a few too many even by that point and i'm holding it all weird. and what's with the camera all on an angle? someone is going to lose their photographer privlidges. whatever. got the pic, had the fun, it was a successful night. i missed one person on my way out the door though, which kinda sucked. there are more pictures...i just don't have them yet. i may or may not get to post them here.

saturday night was birthday dinner/beers. it was fun at dinner, and the early part of the beers but i didn't last long due to the shenanigans the night before. but they went out full force and i think the birthday girl ended up having a decent night.

the lower deck last night was fantastic. i don't think that i've ever had so much fun at the deck. as it turned out, it was greg's last night with signal hill. he said he's being replaced right away. it won't be the same without him. i don't like change. and it seems there is a lot of it going around. anyway, the deck kicks ass. i can't wait until next summer for more patio parties. here are some pictures.

cory tetford was playing with what i'm assuming was wreckhouse because it was a 3-piece paul lamb band, but the regular drummer wasn't there and the bass player wasn't there. cory tetford is so hot. he stood there and waited for me to take this picture. i wish it was closer and framed better. i wish i could sing like him. but no body plays guitar like paul lamb.

two happy little beer drinkers. this was night 3 in a row for these girls. that's some dedication. but that's what happens when the first day of school is barreling down on you like a freight train at top speed and you just can't seem to get out of the way in time and you know its going to hit you and be all over.

and i'm surprised that the singer lets me get this close to him after the ass slapping incident of last summer...yikes...





sexy!








too bad this didn't turn out so well. it makes me laugh that i took this picture. because i don't really know the guy. just from going to the lower deck so damn much. i need to get out to the red stag. maybe for food sometime. who's in?

things never really change

i had a bunch of great stuff i wanted to write about, and fun pictures to post, but i'm just not in the mood. why does he have to be such an ass hole? why is it that as soon as i walk in the door after 12 hours at work, the first words he says are barking orders? i just got home! it's not my fault! it's so great being the disapointment. why is he different with everyone else but i still get the same treatment? i don't even want to think about it. it pisses me off. it's so stupid and petty.

woo!!

oh man its 3am and i had so much fun!! what a great last night in a bar!! i love signal hill. i can't believe greg is leaving. it just won't be the same without him! there will be pictures. stay tuned....

argh!

i just want to go to work now! why wait until 2 and then have to stay until 7! that's ridiculous. and this needs to get done! harold and kumar is not a priority. i wouldn't mind staying until 7 if we went in earlier and we were really getting a lot done. but having to stay until 7 because other people are lazy and don't want to go right now is annoying. and i can't even just go. i can't get into the building. i have no keys. and i don't know what i can do alone anyway. and 5 hours isn't even that much time. we didn't get very much done yesterday in just 5 hours. ugh. frustrated.

and people want to go out again tonight! i can't do it! i can't afford it at all. but its the lower deck and it's always a good time. signal hill is playing and it's a patio party so that's awesome. and it'll be my last night in a bar for a while. so i'd be happy if it was the deck. we'll see i guess.

i'm really excited to have all week off. well, until friday. i'm probably gonna head over to school before classes start though so i can pick up some books and my bus pass [woo hoo bus pass!!!]. and probably drop into work to see some people who i miss a lot [sally].

the tops of my fingers are peeling. thats gross. it's because i haven't played my guitar in a while and the toughness is peeling off. so what that means is that i need to pick it back up. i love my guitar, but i want a new one really bad. i don't see me being able to get one for quite some time though. if i ever have an extra $1000 kicking around, there are plenty of other things that i need to use it for, before things i don't need. like a guitar. oh well. at least i have the one i have, right? right.

enough of this babbling. i need food.

it's 2am i'm drunk again

it's not really 2am. it's more like 12:45am. and i'm not really drunk. i was drunk. but now i'm just tired. we went for dinner and then to the pogue. it was pretty good at the pogue. i like it there. ten mile house was playing. i totally would have stayed there but girlie 1 and girlie 2 wanted "hot boys" and apparently there were none at the pogue. they wanted to leave and go anywhere else. girlie 1 tried to convince everyone that cheers had hot boys, guaranteed [there is definitely one hot boy at cheers. but thats all i can guarantee]. no one was interested in going to cheers, which was definitely for the best. i wasn't into going anywhere else. they decided on peddlers. i decided on a cab home. so now here i am. i never want to drink again.

the end.

current mood: sad.

song of the moment:

now this angry little girl,
drowning in this petty world,
and i'm,
who you run to.
swallow all your bitter pills,
that's what makes you beautiful.
you're all or not,
i don't need what you ain't got.
and i'm torn in pieces,
i'm blind and waiting for,
my heart is reeling,
i'm blind and waiting for you.

-goo goo dolls

i'd probably pass out...

so i was just reading some headlines on cnn.com and there is a story about a bartender at an applebees in kansas who got a $10 000 tip from some customer. apparently he was a regular and always tipped well. like, $15 on a $30 tab. that's a REALLY good tip. then out of the blue he leaves this chick $10 000! what would you do if someone just gave you $10 000? the restaurant is going through the process of making sure it's real. the man said that it was for real. so at this point, i'd like to just say, lower deck, i love you, but i am never going to leave you $10 000.

p.s. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

360

it is a well known fact that i think anderson cooper is fantastic. but just right now, i think he's even more fantastic.

he's talking to erica about 'the shot' and its some baseball guy arguing with the umpires but stops for the national amthem. and then as soon as it's over, he's right back in their faces. anderson thought it was great and said, "...as soon as the anthem ends, he's bam! [punches hand with fist] right back into it."

it's funny little things like that, that make him seem like an actual person and not just some robot reading the news.

and that is one reason why i think anderson cooper is fantastic.

no creative title.

tomorrow is a day full of....not lasts...just....reductions. does that make sense? because i'm not going to stop working for who i work for. i'm just going to work less and not from the office. and i'm not going to stop partying after tomorrow night, i'm just going to do it way less. so i don't want to look at it as a total ending. i'd be happy if the work thing was actually the end, but everyone needs money so i gotta keep working. and then there will be saturdays. my saturday job is going to be my lifesaver. you're all still invited to come down any saturday for a visit. starting next week.

so today was my last friday lunch. even thought it's not friday. tomorrow there are going to be a few people not at work so we went today. pogue fado. finally. so happy. today i also discovered some skills that i do not have. first, using a phone. haha its funny because yesterday i was ripping up someone for not knowing how to send an e-mail and today i don't know how to use a phone. i don't mean just a phone in general. i mean like an actual phone system for a fully functional call centre taking calls for a ton of different clients. i got thrown into helping test a phone system and it was all new to me. the second thing i realized as a skill i do not have is drilling. i sucked at drilling 1.5 inch holes through pieces of plywood. the holes were all shaky and jagged. but other people's were awesome. and i was very nervous of all the flying bits of wood. so i went back to my new and improved google sitemap. maybe i am a geek.

i'm watching jag [yeah see? geek]. it's "a week of romance" so all the shows are about harm and mac and their star-crossed love [what the hell kind of name is harm, anyway?]. but i guess its not actually star-crossed. in the very end they end up together. either way, i never want to spend nine years in love with someone who is also in love with me but we're not together. if you're in love with someone, just go for it! what is the problem! i just don't get it. why drag it out and make it painful for everyone when it would be so easy to fix everything. and maybe it doesn't work out. but i'd rather give it a shot then spend 9 years [or even 9 months] just having it hover over me. i mean, i guess i understand it in this context of the show. you can't just have your main characters get together in season 2. you know people thirst for the sexual tension. the same stupid thing happened with the x-files. the whole mulder and scully being in love but not together. everytime their hands brushed against each other people went into a frenzy [and it's official. geek.]. but in real life do people spend years in love with someone with no resolution? that's retarded.

aaaaaaanyway......i bought new jeans today. yup. there goes cash that i just don't have. and beer tomorrow night. that will be fun but i may or may not be able to afford my text books. scared. what's more important? one more shameless night at cheers before a few months of no shameless nights, or textbooks for the learning? conundrum!

jon stewart and stephen colbert: gods

way to go youtube. i knew it would happen.
he just said what we were all thinking.

p.s. i like that stephen colbert wears cuff-links. well done mr colbert. well done.

stevie y's #19

so when you spend all day waiting for pages to load due to the slow-ass ip address, you spend a lot of time using a different browser with a different ip address to read wonderful things on the internet [ie john mayer and jessica simpson]. sometimes the stuff you stumble across is actually wonderful. detroit is going to retire steve yzerman's number! that's great. he deserves it. he played his entire career with detroit and did a kick ass job. he's been the captain since forever. it's the feel good story of the day. and you can read it here.

oh john mayer...

what are you thinking!! jessica simpson?! really? that breaks my heart...
saddest story ever

cubicles aren't soundproof

it's funny when you can hear your co-workers gossiping. i don't know what they think about the sound proofness of their cubicles, but i'm here to say, they aren't sound proof. so our office is moving. just to another floor of the same building so we have more space. the tech department is getting it's own, walled in area. there is no door, but there are walls. the walls are glass on 2 of the sides and the back wall is the doors to the server room and stuff like that. we're the only ones who need access to the server room. so the people who work in the other departments are just going to be in cubicles in their own sections. exactly like it is now. so the department that is directly next to the tech team right now is who i overheard talking this morning. one woman is saying, have you seen the progress on the new office? and the rest of them are like, yeah, it's looking good. and she says, do you know where we're gonna be? and someone says, just in cubicles on one side. and she says, you know where i'd like to be? in that little room with the windows. and someone says, that's going to be the tech team. and she says, yeah i know. what's up with that? not fair at all, eh? and the guy says, yeah i was down there and talking to the contractor and asked about the room and he said, yeah, that's where the computer geeks are going. and they all start laughing! and the woman goes, they are all geeks, aren't they! laugh, laugh. and the guy says, i know! they are! and then some other girl says, they're hiring, you know? but you need to pass a drug test. and the woman goes, i should apply and just take a lot of drugs just for the test. and they all laugh. i mean, COME ON!! are you kidding me?! first of all, you don't need to take drugs just for the drug test. you know you'd fail it anyway. second, don't bother applying, because you need to be considered for the job before you take the drug test. and knowing how to send an e-mail is a requirement. we're not going to teach you how to do that. third, grow the hell up!

2.5 days. sweet.

does that put you across the line?

i did the drawing. and the text. however, i want to say that the tshirt is too much, but i don't know that i have any right to critisize line crossing. and that's all i have to say about that.

all day i've kept thinking that tomorrow is thursday. but it's not. it's wednesday. which in some ways is awful, but in other ways, fantastic. i want this week to end because i'm looking forward to the weekend, and this friday means the end of the job from hell. which is cause for MUCH celebration. however. this friday also means school starts in a week, and my last weekend of partying for quite some time. which is sad for some reasons [good people, fun times], but not at all for others [save money, save liver]. wow. i have a totally happy-sad outlook on everything. but i am not sad about having all next week off. free to do whatever i want, at any time of the day. my 9-5 is free, FREE!!! wanna hang out in the middle of the day? i can do it next week! except friday. i have class friday. but no money to pay for these classes. one thing i learned this summer is, do not wait until mid august to apply for your student loan.

i'm no samantha, but i definitely know how she felt there. sometimes, you just feel like a giant.
....a horny smurf? i just don't know.

hmmm....a corset, eh?

i really wish that i could update this blog as things pop into my head. it would make it so much more interesting.

first of all, i got to see some great people who are leaving the province very soon and probably won't see again for a very long time. the blushing bride and her husband from a few weeks ago, and t the wonder co-worker are leaving. it was great to sit and chat and laugh over a beer before it all comes to an end. but i have an open invitation and my very own floor spot for crashing with the newly weds in england. so maybe i need to try to save up enough for a plane ticket... they gave me a great game as a thank you for designing their bookmarks and doing the layout for their bulletins for the wedding. now i just need someone to play it with. who likes board games? it was great times except we were going to go to the pogue fado. and if you've talked to me at all in the last month, you know i've been going crazy craving pogue food. so i was pumped. but we got to the pogue and it was closed for a staff party! come on! so we went to the duck. which is good, and the whole point was the company, not the food, but still! i need some pogue! who wants to go to the pogue? anyone? i know someone does.

so anyway, i left there and walked down to the ferry. i love the ferry. its probably one of my favourite things about halifax. one of my not so favourite things? the frigging harbour hopper. damn i hate that thing. its an embarrassment to the city. its so ugly and annoying. and from the harbour hopper this evening, i could see people taking pictures of the ferry. ok. i do love the ferry, for its people moving purposes and for the fact that you're on the water and you get some fresh air. despite the fact that you're on the harbour. but i do not like what the ferry looks like. big gross dumpy bath tub looking thing. why do you want pictures of that? i sure don't. anyway, i digress. i was sitting up on top of the ferry thinking that it was probably going to rain and happy that i had my jacket. just incase. and just before the ferry starts to pull away, this woman walks from the back and sits down close to the front. normal enough. except, she's wearing a lifejacket. uh huh. that's right. so, because i have an active imagination, i start thinking up all kinds of interesting things. like, does she know something i don't? is this boat going to sink? and i start trying to judge distances to the closest shoreline and wondering if my swimming abilities are still strong enough. i start thinking about the woman [not the lifejacket woman] and the three kids and how i would try to help her because there is no way the three kids can swim to shore. that's just how my brain works. anyway, one of the ferry workers comes down and starts talking to the lifejacket woman. he asks her if it is one of the ferry's lifejackets. she says yes. and he says, why are you wearing it? and she says, i saw it on the video [safety video that plays on a loop as you wait to board the ferry]. and he says, you don't have to wear it right now you know. and he puts his hand on her shoulder. and she flips. she starts screaming, STOP TOUCHING MY BODY!!!! and he goes, just make sure you put it back before you get off the boat. and she screams, GET YOUR HAND OFF ME YOU ASS HOLE!!! and he says, don't talk to me like that. and she says, THEN STOP TOUCHING ME ASS HOLE!! and at this point, he has stopped touching her before she even stopped screaming the first time. and he says, yeah, just go sleep it off. you'll feel better tomorrow. and walks away. and everyone on the ferry is laughing. i never want to be that person.

so off the ferry and onto the bus. which isn't exactly the bus i need to take me right home. so i have to get off and walk about 15 minutes to my house. which is fine. but its dark. on the ipod? jay-z/linkin park smash up at full volume. it's perfect walking home alone in the dark through my not totally, but a little bit scary area music. because it makes you feel tough enough that you could take on any little thug wannabe that may come your way for no good reason other than the fact that they think they're tough. but they're not. because they hang out in the school parking lot with their not hot cars.

anyway, it was a fabulous night because i got to see the girls. they're off to bigger and better things and i hope it all goes wonderfully for them. i really do. and i hope that when t the wonder co-worker gets back here in a years time, we get to be co-workers again.

and if anyone would like to make a donation to the "crash on the newlyweds floor" fund, you know where to find me.

my favourite website

my favourite website is space.com. for real. i've been here for half an hour and, being the productive employee that i am, i've spent that entire time reading articles on space.com. maybe i'm a huge space nerd but that's just how it's gonna be.

say cheese!

so here are some interesting pics from friday night's outting to the copper penny. oh the camera phone. what an amazing invention...

waiting is boring.

i'm ready to leave now. the phone call can come any time. i'm so bored. i don't want to get into anything because then she'll call and i'll just have to stop what i'm doing. oh well.

so yesterday was awesome. i love working there. 4 million times better than my boring ass monday to friday job [which ends in 5 days - party on]. i was pretty nervous to get up in front of the crowd, because it has been so long since i've done it, but as soon as i got up there, it all just came back and it was awesome. there was no nervousness, i didn't stumble at all. it was so much fun. hopefully every time is that great. i'm a little sad that my co-workers are going to change. the 2 awesome chicas i worked with yesterday will not be around on weekends after next week. one is moving away and one is moving to mon-fri. but i won't be there next weekend. all i can say is the new people have some pretty big shoes to fill. we'll see how it goes. maybe they'll hire some super hot science guy to work with me. he could be there purely as eye candy to make the day go by with a little more sparkle. haha!

have you ever read your horoscope on a particular day and it kinda freaked you out more than a little bit due to how accurate it seemed? not that i'm a big astrology buff or anything. i just read them every so often for fun. and i never take to heart what it's saying or try to analyze it and twist the words so it fits exactly into what's going on in my life at the moment. however. my horoscope for today that i just read has made a prediction for a situation that couldn't be any more identical to my own. without any twisting or over-analyzing whatsoever. weird. i've never had that happen before.

oh man. and, talladega nights? so funny. it was no anchorman, but still damn hilarious. the whole part where he stabs himself in the leg because he thinks he's paralyzed, i laughed so hard that i cried. i need to see it again. i missed half of it due to intense fits of laughter.

Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as wse call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.
Carley Bobby: [raises hands] Woo!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Mhmm!
Walker: [Along with Texas Ranger] Ow.

[that part is way funnier in the movie because of the flow. go see the movie. and call me if you need someone to see it with]

heaven.

i'm in heaven. what do i miss the most about being downtown everyday? lunch. jesus murphy i love food. and the chicken schwarma pita from venus pizza loves me. i'm not going to be fit to talk to visitors now though. holy garlic-breath, batman. good thing i stopped and got some gum on my way here this morning. i don't know if it will be enough though. and, to make this great day of great food even better, my co-workers today are of the highest quality. i could not be happier with them. together, t and i single handedly saved the day and c is the coolest new chick ever. and to top it all off, i will be playing with fire later. wicked.

no visitors yet though...
*hint hint*

good times.

it wasn't so bad. despite what you'd think, good times were had. punches were almost thrown and voices were raised, but in the end, there was no blood or violence. so that is excellent. i wasn't in a bad mood once i got there. dancing and shameless are the cure for my pissy mood. too bad i only have one more. next friday is the end. for now. school needs to come first. this drunk every friday night [except tonight] is too much time and money. i'll do sober activities that cost less than $60 a night. fo sho. but no more bars. at least for the month of september, and probably october. sad times. i'm expecting a sparklecaster as a farewell gift [kidding].

also, next time, i'm getting shit faced and you're driving.

and seriously. come visit me at work. you're all invited. i love visitors. just ask for me when you come in. it's worth it. it'll be so fun. do it.
if you don't know where i am, send me an e-mail.

happy saturday.

:)

it's friday!

two weeks from today, i have classes. the summer seemed to just stop all of the sudden. what happened there?

anyway, today is friday and i'm happy. friday means friday lunch, which means an hour and a half out of this soul sucking office. then after work, i'm gonna hit the gym, and then off to see shameless! oh man. it's gonna be a good night. hopefully i survive the shameless outting. sober at the copper penny? i dunno... could be sketchy. i have to work tomorrow morning so i don't want to be all hungover. and i don't really want to spend the money. so i'll drive and it'll still be great. next weekend will be the big drunken party.
pretty much the whole weekend is gonna be fantastic. i'm excited to work tomorrow. feel free to come visit. it'll make the day even better. and then after that i'm gonna hang out with some people i don't see very often. we're probably just gonna hit a movie or something, but it'll be good times none the less. i love weekends.

and then there were 8...

today, pluto was officially demoted from planet status. that's weird. i mean, i know there has always been debate and speculation about whether or not it was actually qualified to be called a planet. but i never thought they'd actually remove it from the list. they're going to have to re-print all the kids science books to reflect that fact now. i guess now it's classified as a "dwarf planet". crazy. you can read all about it here.

useless!

i have never come across a more useless person! i don't like saying that about someone, but i mean, COME ON!!! what have you been doing for the past 3 months that i've just been here! articles aren't listed on the pages, so i have to go through and figure out what ones aren't, and add them. links go to the wrong place, so i'm going through and checking and changing all the links, keywords weren't done, right or at all, so i sorted them all again, the google site map was a disaster so guess who's fixing that, or actually, starting it from the beginning? oh that's right! ME! good god! i can't believe that some people actually get paid and do nothing! it is so frustrating! how can someone take the money? and feel that they're owed it? you have to know that you're doing a completely half-assed job at everything! and did he think that the google map was actually going to fly? he thought he was going to be able to submit that and actually have it work? it looks like he did it in his sleep! you can't close a title tag with a description tag close! and you can't open a url tag with a title tag! and that's just one mistake! if you're going to work, do the job right! he's done at the end of the week anyway, so they're just being like, ok, bye. if it were up to me, he'd be getting the tell off e-mail of the century. there's no way i'd let him walk away thinking he was a stellar employee. i don't think i've ever been more annoyed. i hate this job. good thing i have dishwalla to help get me through it.

song of the day? no no, album of the day

man, i can't believe i only just got this cd. i had no idea what i was missing. opaline is an awesome cd. the whole thing. every song. it doesn't happen often that you love everything the first time you listen to it. i love j.r. richards' voice. if they came here, i would be a happy girl. i wish i had money to travel all over the place and see the bands that i like. that's what i want to do for the rest of my life. travel and see bands. can i do that for a living? who will pay me to do that? i'd be really good at it. yeah, i don't think it's gonna happen. oh well. anyway, the point of this is that everyone should hear this cd because it is fantastic and i am going to listen to it all day.

oh man. so much to say.

man, i just had a fantastic evening. an awesome end to my great day. went to the mall with mel where i dropped a ton of cash that i totally should not have dropped. wanna know what i got? sure ya do. an awesome tshirt, a great sweater, and 2 cds that i love. and i didn't spend 300 hours at the mall which is superbe because i hate the mall. it was very much an in and out trip. then, we stopped by holy cones for some izecream on our way out to the beach where we went for a walk. wicked.

[side note, jack johnson videos staring ben stiler are awesome. jack johnson videos staring jack johnson are wicked too.]

the beach was so nice. there were a lot of annoying little beach flies which sucked, but it was so warm and not windy. we could have stayed longer but the little fly bastards pissed us off way too much. so we left.
i'm really excited for my new cds. aqualung - strange and beautiful and dishwalla - opaline. i've wanted the dishwalla one for a long time but never got it. new cds are going to make my day go by much better. google site map? yippie skippie...

so...speaking of music. i enjoy it quite a bit. and i enjoy when other people enjoy music. and i also like it when i like something other people have never heard of. because i like to introduce people to new music. so, the point to all this is, last week i had someone in my car who heard a little bit of snow patrol playing. i love snow patrol. and he asked, who is this? and i said who it was and that i loved them and he said, "i don't like much. mostly i'll hear something and it will be some random obscure thing that no one has ever heard of before". so i have 2 things to say about this:

1. seems like an excellent opportunity to introduce someone to some new tunes

2. you like obscure? you should hook me up!

now. is it weird if i bring him a cd of snow patrol songs? just because of the circumstances of our....friendship? but why would a cd be bad? i think there is a certain level of at least familiarity if nothing else. i don't want to be too pushy.

however. confirmation of the non-weirdness has just been received. cds for the friend is an ok thing. i'll be happy if i get some random obscurity in return. do you hear that! i want some random obscurity in return! ah, what's the use. you won't see this.

later days.

a new day!

ok. after last nights mope-fest, i am feeling 300% better today. the sun is shining, i have new music, and almost everthing is right in my world. before going to bed last night i went on a hunt for new and exciting music. i discovered some great new-to-me bands and i am pumped. auqalung? where have you been all my life? i got a few songs off of the itunes music store, but now i'm on the hunt for a cd. i think that a trip to hmv is in order. i'm looking for a dishwalla cd too. i don't know what could make today any better. happy tuesday.

what a feeling in my soul
love burns brighter than sunshine
it's brighter than sunshine
let the rain fall, i don't care
i'm yours and suddenly you're mine
suddenly you're mine

-aqualung

what's new?

nothing. that's what. i hate when people ask me that. i never know what to say. another one is, how's your job? my job? it sucks. and i know that's not what people want to hear, but that's how i feel. i hate it. i can't wait until school starts. i am totally ready for a change of pace. new people, new surroundings, and back in the city. working on the darkside is awful. i miss downtown so much it hurts. the hour and a half on shitty metro transit is worth it. my ipod is my best friend. i can handle it. i can't believe i'm so bored already with this job and this summer. maybe 2 weeks till school isn't too much. this summer wasn't awesome. i mean, i did some fun stuff, but i've had better. for sure. i'm not going to have any random hilarious stories from this summer. i had 2 goals for this summer. one was to save a lot of money, which i didn't do, and the other one, well, it didn't happen either. i am definitely ready for something to happen. something good. not that bad things are happening. just, dull, mundane, stuck-in-a-rut things. i need to move out of my house. that's what i really need. i wish i had planned for that for this fall. next fall for sure. it's happening. loans are gonna kick me in the ass anyway, why not be happier?

song of the day #2

so today there are two songs of the day.
you're a sexy bitch. i just can't help myself.

dirty babe
you see these shackles baby i'm your slave
i'll let you whip me if i misbehave
it's just that no one makes me feel this way

-justin timberlake

song of the day

who remembers dishwalla? counting blue cars. you all know it. anyway, they are the lucky winners of song of the day. but not counting blue cars. every little thing.

i wish i could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
i wish i could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times
don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all

-dishwalla

interesting.

so, as it turns out, there is such a thing as too many cheesies.

little orange bastards....

feels like home

today was great. seriously. as much as i complained and bitched about that place, i love it there. kids are so funny! i can't wait until i'm back on the floor and get to do the shows again and really have fun. one day a week won't burn me out or make me hate it. i'm excited. i mean, there are down sides to every situation. like, when people ask you questions and don't like the answer. there is no need to be rude. seriously. just because i don't know the best way to get to the 102 doesn't mean you should be rude to me. you don't know how to get there. give me a break. directions aren't what i'm getting paid for. anyway. that was the only bad part of my day. i'm there again on saturday and i get to do a show. i can't wait. i'm so excited! i love it. i really like being able to say i work there. it's kind of unique.
and what am i doing now? oh the lower deck. why? because someone is in a shit mood and feels like getting drunk. not me. i will be the driver. there is no way i'm drinking tonight. should still be good times though. signal hill sunday. i can think of how it could be better times though....

song of the day

don't wait, don't wait
the road is now a sudden sea
and suddenly, you're deep enough
to lay your armor down
to lay your armor down
to lay your armor down

don't wait, don't wait
the lights will flash and fade away
the days will pass you by
don't wait
to lay your armor down

-dashboard confessional

it's too soon!

school starts in 2 weeks and 5 days! 2 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS!! what?! how is that even possible? the summer went by way too fast. i'm not ready to go back to school yet. i'm still having fun doing summertime things like patio parties and the beach. so much is going to change this september. i don't know if i'm going to like it or not. i have a plan of attack and i hope that it all works out the way i want it to. we'll see i guess. i've heard some things about the classes i'm taking from people who have already taken them. sounds like they're going to be doable. i'm a little afraid for one or two of them but i expect to make it through alive. can't help but already be looking forward to christmas vacation though...

p.s. today is john stamos' birthday!! i think that he was my first ever crush. oh uncle jesse, you were so hot with your mullett and leather....

song of the day...

it’s nothing i planned
and not that i can
but you should be mine
across that line
if i traded it all
if i gave it all away for one thing
just for one thing
if i sorted it out
if i knew all about this one thing
wouldn’t that be something

-finger eleven

todays lesson

today i learned that 2 large coffees in a 3.5 hour period is too much coffee. holy high-strung, batman.

reunions

it's funny how when you haven't seen someone in 8 months because they moved, you assume they're going to be totally different because they got out of here and away from everything. but they're not at all. same stories, same problems, same attitude. i feel kind of guilty because we were close and i know i was there for her during some super tough times. but it just all became too much. the problems never ended. one person can only take so much. and maybe that makes me a terrible person. she's living it and i can't handle listening to her talk about what is going on. i want to. i really do. but when i have my own issues to deal with, it's really hard taking on someone elses too. especially when i feel bad for stressing over the things i stress over when maybe she is actually falling apart, you know? a lot of people walked when things were bad and i managed to survive it so why is this so hard to deal with? it's because it never changes. at what point does it all kick in and you actually learn your lesson? i hope it's soon. because i should have looked forward to the phone call. but instead i cursed myself for answering. i know. i'm awful.

AHHHHH!!!!!

THE GOO GOO DOLLS ARE COMING TO HALIFAX!!! NOVEMBER 21!!!!

who's happy? this guy.

i am not a techie!

ok. so i know how to install software. that's one thing. and who can't figure out how to plug in a computer? i don't mind. but. i do not know how to make the caller id work, i can't run wires, or make cables, and i have no idea why your internet isn't working if it's plugged in and your computer is on. just because i work in the tech department does not mean i am knowledgeable in all areas of the tech world. i write stuff. and compile data. that is it. and the writing is a stretch. i am not a writer. i have always had a job that involved entertaining and teaching children. this whole sitting at a desk thing is really strange. i'm very much looking forward to returning to my playing with kids job in september.

friends, acquaintances, and random passers through

sometimes there are people in your life who you see every so often, but they're just a random player in your life story. you know what i mean? the supporting cast. they're there, but not really in an important role. but somewhere along the way, even though it's still in that original context, you start spending more time with them. so because you actually know each others names, you've made that move from random passer through, to acquaintance. right? i mean, you know a bit more than just each others names. other personal details have been exchanged. anyway, at what point do you cross from acquaintance, to friend? your relationship is still confined to that same environment, so are you still just acquaintances? there have never been any real social gatherings, but you spend a good deal of time together when you do see each other. and you feel like you're getting to know the other person. so what's up? what is the definition of a friend? what are the qualifications? what makes us call someone a friend? and why is there so much concern by one party to call it a friendship? perhaps its because the more time you spend with them, you realize that you want to spend even more time with them. and you know that soon, meeting under these circumstances is going to become much less frequent. and maybe that's a little bit upsetting.

i don't want you to be a random passer through.

cheers

happy birthday.

i hope your day is a fantastic one.

from, me.

:)

future damnation

so i just did an online quiz that determines the level of hell i will be damned to. i got level 2. there are 9 levels. so i guess that's pretty good. only level 2. apparently my big downfall is that i'm too lustful. oh online quizzes....good times. if you're curious of your level of damnation, you can take the dante inferno hell test.

guilty pleasures

you know you shouldn't love it, but you just can't help yourself. you don't tell your friends about it for fear of ridicule. you can see them pointing and laughing when the thought of them finding out crosses your mind. you induldge in secret, hoping that it never comes out. but then you let someone use your ipod. and all of the sudden, it's all out in the open. you're a justin timberlake fan.

disappointments suck.

sometimes, even the people you least expect let you down. and even though it's the smallest thing, it hurts the most.

ouch.

drunk people need to pay closer attention to where other people's feet are. especially mine. i'd like to keep all my toes, thanks.
other than the toe crushing, great times were had by all.

saturday is better than friday

today is great. and it will be even better if the rain holds off. i went to a wedding today. it was great. i love weddings. i'm not going crazy looking for my own wedding. i just like going to them. they're so happy and everyone gets all dressed up. its fantastic. so congratulations go out to the happy couple who will be moving to england at the end of september. today also brings mike home from toronto until tuesday, which is awesome. hopefully i'll get to meet up with him later tonight for some good times at the ale house. that's the plan at this point! first though will be beer tent. oh man. good times...buskers beer tent. so fun! i don't even know why! it's hot and sweaty and beer is expensive and it's just signal hill, but damnit, i have fun every time. but i don't want to have to walk from the waterfront up to the ale house in a downpour. so that's why we're hoping for the rain to hold off.

what's with today, today?

usually fridays are awesome. how can they not be? another five days done of keyword sorting and paragraph writing and two full days of no work ahead of me. but not this week. this week needs a friday do-over. cranky work people and slacker work people stress me out. i've sorted though probably close to 100 000 keywords in the last 2 weeks and was completely ready for a new project. but because of other peoples laziness, i have another 10 000 keywords staring me in the face. happy monday.

and, i don't know if this is completely true or not, but when you ask someone a question, it's usually common courtesy to listen to the answer, is it not? and she wonders why i never tell her stuff. she tells me it hurts her that i don't talk to her, but every time i'm talking, she stops listening to me and starts watching whatever is on tv. doesn't matter what it is. i've been ignored for oprah, the news, the weather, entertainment tonight. you think it hurts that i don't talk? ever been ignored? i don't talk because you don't care. and if i do tell her something, she tells everyone! i lost my faith in her ability to keep things to herself a long time ago. i don't like walking into a room full of people i hardly know and they start asking me questions about personal things. just because you know them, doesn't mean i know them or want them to know everything about me. and i hate when people assume things. its worse when people assume things and then tell other people like it's the written in stone truth when it isn't at all. and then i have to correct those people when they ask me about it and then we both feel stupid. so now? all you get is whatever i'd be willing to tell any random stranger.

my next problem with today is all the craziness going on in the world. what's happening? it seems like every day things just get worse. 24 people have sent the entire world into an insane frenzy. how does something like that even happen? it's really scary and i'm not entirely sure what to even say about it. so maybe i shouldn't even be saying anything. but it has me nervous and i'm curious as to what the future holds. where will we all be in 10 years? or less even. if two planes flying into buildings brought about the response it did, where else can we go if this plan had worked out? how else do you retaliate? you're already fighting a war. which it seems isn't really going anywhere. you could say it's being won, but you could also say it's being lost. depends on your definition of each term. people are dying on all sides and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. and now we have the situation in lebanon. which also isn't ending. no one can agree to terms for a cease fire. it all seems somewhat immature. like playground wars from when you were a kid. everyone wants to be the king of the castle, but when people don't get their way, they start throwing stones and stealing your toys. all sides are guilty of it at some point. and even if someone does "win", there will be nothing left in the the end. it's depressing and scary but what are you supposed to do? not leave your house? you can't live in fear of what might happen. but i want to know when the shit is going to hit the fan and it's all going to come crashing down around me. because i think that's where we're heading.

i know it could be worse...

this job is slowly sucking out my soul. seriously. i've had jobs that were just the same thing everyday, but nothing as bad as this one. i need to get out of here. i have never been so happy that a job was just for the summer before. i'm not happy that i don't like the job. i wish i did. because the people are good people. the thing i hate the most about here is that when people get pissy about work, they take it out on everyone around them. and that just makes other people pissy. i don't enjoy being in a bad mood because other people are being jerks.
so now i'm just being totally unproductive. i feel bad because i'm getting paid to sit here, but i just don't want to work anymore. not today. i thought that coming in late would make the day go faster, but it's going so slow i think i just saw the clock move backwards. i feel distracted. like my mind is a thousand miles away and has left my body here to rot in this chair. actually, i am distracted. completely. and i know exactly where my mind has gone on its little vacation. i wish i could be there with it.

what if

oooooh, that's right
let's take a breath, jump over the side
oooooh, that's right
how can you know it if you don't even try?
oooooh, that's right
every step that you take
could be your biggest mistake
it could bend or it could break
but that's the risk that you take

-coldplay

how is that even possible?

my mom told me an interesting story this morning. i guess the other day she was out with a friend of hers at some coffee shop and she saw the woman who taught me grade primary. my mom recognized my former teacher, but didn't say anything to her because she didn't expect the teacher to know who she was. mrs macneil (teacher) saw my mom and went up to her and said hi and asked how she was. my mom was pretty surprised that mrs macneil recognized her and assumed that it was just from seeing her around the school because she helped out sometimes when my brother went there. he didn't have her as a teacher and i am 5 years older than him. but then, mrs macneil asked how i was doing, by name! she totally remembered me! i was in grade primary almost 20 years ago. 20 years! and my teacher sees my mom and remembers me? floored. that's what i am. i can't believe it. my mom told her that i was doing well...going to dal, and mrs macneil said, oh i'm not surprised at all. she was such a smart kid. wow. i'm fairly blown away by the fact that she remembered me and praised me even after all this time. how many kids has she seen pass through her classroom over her career? i'm touched. seriously. whether i should be or not. it's the feel-good story of the day.

well that was fantastic.

safari just quit. just like that. quit. for no reason. i didn't do anything at all to it and it just quit. stupid safari. yeah, that's right. i'm a mac user. and i love my mac. even though msn messenger is a bitch, and sometimes you don't see all the features of a website, i was willing to look past that because i love everything else about my mac. including safari. until right now. after the intense battle i had with indesign earlier today, i am in no mood for programs quitting on me for no reason and information being lost. what if i had been in the process of writing one of the most profound pieces of literary genius to ever have been put into words? and safari quits and it's gone. all i can say is, good thing i wasn't. good thing all i was writing about was the one thunder clap i thought i heard and how i just wished that i'd hear more. i'm beginning to think that i was totally just hearing things. i'm not crazy. just sometimes i hear phantom thunder claps. that's perfectly ok.
anyway, about this thunder, if lightening were to accompany said thunder, it would be even better. i wish thunder storms lasted longer. they always seem to be so short. the best place to watch thunder and lightening is lawrencetown beach. but usually by the time you get out there, its over. i live just far enough away. lawrencetown beach is good for watching meteor showers too. that was awesome. i did that one november. it was freezing cold but totally worth it. i want to do it again. but i've never found another willing participant and i'm not so keen on sitting out on a freezing cold beach in the middle of the night by myself. sounds like a blast, eh? freezing cold beach in the middle of the night...maybe that's why no one else has ever wanted to come with me....

feels like...odd.

it's strange to hear people say that they read my blog. or that they have, or that they're going to read my blog. do you really read it? i guess its strange because really, i do it for me. i mean, i like that people read it. and i know people know that its here and people stumble randomly upon it, but it's still a strange feeling. my life doesn't seem that interesting that someone would want to take time out of their day to read up on the random babbling that comes out of my head.

also on the topic of "odd", my parents ended up out at the same bar i was tonight. it was not planned. i don't mind that they were there at all. hanging out with my parents, which may seem lame, does not really bother me. what bothered me the most was that i had a car and when they showed up i had a beer in my hand. it was only the one beer that i had the entire night and it was way early in the evening. so i'm not some drinker-and-driver. i just felt like i had been caught doing something wrong. the whole, hand in the cookie jar thing, you know? anyway, hopefully the other people there didn't find it weird.

it is definitely time for bed now. tomorrow is going to be full of finishing up everything for anna's wedding so she can get it printed. the wedding is saturday! so soon!

funny

as a former lifeguard, i couldn't help but laugh at this.
keep cool

sharks and minnows=best game ever. especially when it's full contact tackle sharks and minnows.

candy-coated surprises

it's funny how your expectations for an evening can be blown completely out of the water by one small thing. you assume that it's going to be the same as always, and it mostly is, but the details change everything and make it a better night. good people and good music. can't really go wrong. unless someone gets a little too "rowdy" and gives the finger to someone else. but perhaps said flipping off occured because there was confusion about some "drinky drinky" motions that were made. either way, it was all in good fun and not meant to be insulting in any way. i'd watch a band with you anytime. even though you don't like hockey.

rain

and it's friday. and it's raining. it has 6 hours to rain itself out or i will not be a happy girl. it's lame for me to be this excited but i just can't help myself.

Comic 639: Speeding bullet

bigger than cheeses

30 degrees is too much

it is so hot outside, and hot at work and hot at my house. and it seems i still didn't learn lesson number 3 from saturday night. jeans in 30 degree weather...not nice. and, speaking of weather, the weather network says it's going to rain on friday. why does it have to rain on friday! i'm going to the lower deck! outside! it was nice today, it's going to be nice tomorrow, and saturday and sunday. but friday is going to rain. blah. but i guess it is still only wednesday. friday is a whole 2 days away. anything could happen by friday.
went to the red stag last night. good times. got the grand tour from adam. and what that means is that i go to the lower deck way too often because adam knows who i am from there. anyway, its really nice and the patio is awesome. i hope it does really well.
and in an hour? getting my hair cut!! fantastic. i'm so excited. it needs to be cut. i should do something really crazy. what do we think? short and spiky? or maybe dyed pink? hmmmm.....

heh heh heh....

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
- Scott Adams

welcome home!

leo is home! i'm so happy. fantastic.

saturday night

this is what i learned tonight:

1. some people are really annoying when they're drunk.

2. pogey is way better when you can actually see them

3. it's not a good idea to wear jeans when it's 30 degrees out

4. don't get in on the pitcher when you're not going to be able to drink as much beer as buying the next pitcher is going to cost you.

most of these things are things that i should have learned before tonight. but obviously i did not learn them.

ode to kleenex

oh kleenex
white and cloth-like
square sheets
in your pink tulip box
look so soft
and gentle
waiting there for me
in my time of need
only to rip my nose off

blah.

i'm sick! :( i hate it. i didn't catch a single cold all winter and now, here it is the end of july and i'm sick. it's worse being sick in the summer because it's so hot and you're uncomfortable anyway....blah.

i need more orange juice....

problem:

effects of Reese cups do not last long

solution:
will just have to eat more


my nose is so stuffy......

yum.

Reese cups fix everything. Including stuffy noses.

it's true....

if i lay here

if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world

-snow patrol

scared

with every day that passes, this situation in lebanon gets more and more terrifying. do we really see an end in sight? the country is going to be destroyed before it's over. all the big-dog political analysts are calling it "world war 3". wow. that's intense. is this really WWIII? i'm not yet sure what i think about that. but it's a damn scary thought. my own fears of war aside, because, really i have nothing to worry about at this point (nor will i probably ever), leo is still in lebanon. i have never been more scared for someone in my whole life. i have no idea what his situation is really. we know that he has moved further north and has registered to be evacuated. but he doesn't know when the evacuation will happen. he just has to wait. hopefully it isn't much longer. at least there has been some aid allowed in so the people there aren't completely cut off. and at least he knows that eventually he will be allowed to leave. and come back here. away from the bombs and the killing and the death. i can't even imagine what it would be like to have no escape. i don't think that it is possible for me to be more thankful that i am canadian.

song of the day...

and i'm here eating up the boredom
on an island of cement
give me your ecstasy i'll feel it
open window and i'll steal it
baby like it’s heaven sent

-david gray

i am a fool and i would like to embark on a new phase in my life.

p.s. i love the original superman movie. i love that clark is so awkward. and his pants are too short. i would love to meet a nice, sweet, slightly nerdy guy with too short pants. oh wait. i think i already have..... i don't think he can fly though. and i don't think i'm his lois lane.

one step closer

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

-Linkin Park

surfing

I wish I went more often. Some people don't get the appeal. And I guess I can understand that. Everyone has their own reasons why they love it. For me, I feel more alive when I'm in the ocean. Even though I'm a terrible surfer and get my ass kicked every time I go, I would never stop going. The thought of being in the ocean, what that really means, puts things into perspective. I see the ocean on a map and its just this thing. It doesn't really mean anything. But when I'm in the ocean, I feel so small and insignificant. I know that seems like it would be a bad thing, but for me, it gives me a sense of the vastness of the planet. It's a really surreal feeling actually. And I love it. When I look out and I see nothing but the sky meeting the ocean, I feel free. And the waves. When they crash over me and I get pulled along, rolling in the wave and being tossed around like I'm weightless, feeling the strength and power of the water, I feel a connection. I feel like the wave is this real thing, carrying me along and my life is totally under it's control. I am overcome with a sense of respect, and awe. Have you ever dove under a wave just as it was crashing, and you can feel it rolling over you? It is a feeling unlike any other. And I crave it. I never feel more alive or more at peace than when I am in the ocean. The freezing cold Atlantic ocean. It feels like home.

The tide is high but I'm holding on

I'm gonna be your number one
I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that

-Blondie

if i was ever going to try to take over the world,
i would plan the attack
from my shower.

12-string?

Yes please. Going to MusicStop on your lunch break is not a smart thing to do. Because how do you leave and go back to work like nothing has changed? You don't. After you manage to tear yourself away from the guitars and the music and trudge back across the parking lot to the ugly and quiet that is your office building, you sit at your desk and try to do a job that you hate, all the while thinking of the wooden masterpiece that you might love more than your own children (if you had them). And you feel as though you've abandoned it. You promise that you'll be back to visit, and that you do indeed love it. But it's not the same as lovingly taking it in your arms and giving it the warm and fabulous home you know it deserves and that you could provide. *sigh* Maybe I'll see it again some day....

investigation results

Turns out, the Lois Lane speech is awesome. Yes, it ryhmes, but she's speaking from her heart. Hahaha I'll let you be the judge...

Can you read my mind?
Do you know what is is that you do to me?
I don't know who you are
Just a friend from another star

Here I am like a kid out of school
Holding hands with a god
I'm a fool

Will you look at me
Quivering
Like a little girl
Shivering
You can see right through me

Can you read my mind?
Can you picture the things I'm thinking of?
Wondering why you are
All the wonderful things you are

You can fly!
You belong in the sky!
You and I
Could belong to each other

If you need a friend
I'm the one to fly to
If you need to be loved
Here I am

Read my mind

So that's the speech. See it where I saw it here.

So it has been decided that Zinedine Zidane will be suspended for 3 games and fined £3,260 for his head-butt during the World Cup final. However since he has retired from soccer, he has to spend 3 days working with FIFA doing community service with children. And Materazzi was suspended for two games and fined £2,170 for provoking Zidane. As far as Zidane losing his Golden Ball award for best player goes, it wasn't even discussed at the hearing. Which is good. He deserves to keep the award. If he's the best, he's the best. And Materazzi stuck up for him saying that he deserved it. I'm satisfied with this resolution to the whole situation.

and your eyes. they were in my mind.

i just want to hold on to you.

-blue rodeo

glad today is ending.

Die in a fire? Even though I'm going to assume it was a joke, that's a really dick head thing to say.

I have too much time alone with my own thoughts. It's not healthy. Or maybe it is. I'm not sure. I sit here with the tv on or music playing but not really pay attention to anything except the thing that has my brain tied up at this moment. It changes daily. Or even hourly. I feel trapped. Trapped in what? In...my own fear of taking a leap. If I'm unhappy with where things are going and how my life is progressing, I'm well aware of what needs to happen to change it. Why can't I just do it? I need to step outside my comfort zone and just go for it. I need to take a chance. On everything. Life, love, work, school... What am I missing? Because I'm here and have had opportunity to leave, how could my life have been different? Where might I be right now if I had fought for going away after high school. What if I had applied for the job at the London Science Museum? What if I had gone to work at the camp for the summer?
I'm just ready for a change from the way things are right now. I don't want to live the rest of my life just letting stuff happen to me. Or waiting for things to happen. I'm in a rut and it needs to change. But at the same time as I sit here and complain about needing to get out, I can't really imagine my life without the things I experienced as I was stuck here. So I guess it's not that bad. But I have a longing for the things I haven't done. I'm torn. Completely. About everything. Well, not one thing. But that's out of my hands.

We went to the Lower Deck last night. I don't know what it is about that place, but I never get sick of it. I'd like it if more people were into it though. It would be more fun. And we wouldn't look like such dorks. But you know what? Other people go to other bars all the time. I can name a certain someone who hit the Ale House every single Saturday night without fail for years. So he can't give me hell about going to the Deck all the time. Everyone has their favourite places. I'm just not into going to disgusting places like the Palace where everyone is all sweaty and grinding and 19. It's such a meat market. I like the Lower Deck because I can go and sit and drink beer and it's not scary like the Dome or gross like the Palace.
Anyway, it was Melanie, Michelle, Jenna, Sean, Jennie and I so it was good times with more people than normal, which is just me and Melanie. I've only met Jennie once before. She's cool. She should come around more often. I know her connection to the group was through Sean and he doesn't hang out so much anymore, so I understand why we don't see Jennie. Michelle and Jenna left pretty early. Like, 11:00 early. Sean and Jennie stuck it out a bit longer. But then it ended up the way it always is. Just me and Melanie. Oh well. She got drunk and I agreed to drive her car home. Which was cool. I didn't want to spend the money anyway. Another perk to being sober was being able to fully appreciate the ass crack that was on full display. Lucky me... I need to watch Superman. Not the new one. The classic. I need to do a bit of investigative work. Is the Lois monologue really corny and long and written in rhyme? We shall see.
I got an e-mail from Judith today asking me if I was interested in part-time work in the fall. Weekends or otherwise. What does that even mean, otherwise? I have no idea. The only part-time positions they've always had were just weekends. I said that she'd need to give me a bit more info before I committed to anything. I'm not overly opposed to working there. And part-time won't be bad. I guess we'll see what it is she wants me to do and when she wants me to do it. I'm working there on a Sunday in August. I don't mind. It's just at the desk. But I don't know anyone who works weekends anymore! Eveyrone is gone! It'll be so weird to be there and not know the staff. Oh well. It'll be fine. We'll see what she comes back with.
Time for So You Think You Can Dance!

interesting facts

So today I Wikipediaed my birthday. That's how much I love my job. I spend my day looking up random stuff on Wikipedia. Here are some interesting facts about January 29:

1595 - William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet is probably first performed.
1845 - The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe is published for the first time (New York Evening Mirror).
1856 - Queen Victoria institutes the Victoria Cross.
1933 - President of Germany Paul von Hindenburg appoints Adolf Hitler as Chancellor of Germany.
1959 - Sleeping Beauty, an animated feature produced by Walt Disney based upon a fairy tale, was first released.
1978 - Sweden outlaws aerosol sprays due to their harmful effect on the ozone layer, becoming the first nation to enact such a ban.

And people with the same birthday as me:

1945 - Tom Selleck
1952 - Tommy Ramone
1954 - Oprah Winfrey
1965 - Dominik Hasek
1970 - Heather Graham
1981 - Jonny Lang

I am especially happy about the Romeo and Juliet thing. First performed on my birthday? And The Raven? That's fantastic.

come home safe

Leo is in Lebanon. He's been there all summer. But now with all this fighting, it's getting a little scary. I guess his family tried to get to Syria but all the roads and airports are bombed out. He said that he heard it could be months before people will be able to get out. But today I read on CBC.ca that Canada is sending in ships to get Canadians that are stranded there. But there are people who have no way of getting to the ships or don't know where they're going to be docked. It seems that the Canadian government isn't so organized trying to get everything together. People can't get ahold of the Canadian Embassy in Lebanon and if they do get through, no one has a clue what's going on. That's terrifying. They need to get their shit together. 7 Canadians have been killed. I know that's nothing compared to the hundreds of other people and the probably thousands that are still going to die, but it's really scary when you're from somewhere like Canada where bombings aren't so common. And where did this fighting come from anyway? It seemed like things were kind of ok and then all of the suddedn, there are all these attacks. Leo said that he can see the smoke and the explosions and hear the guns from where he is, but his area hasn't been bombed yet. How scary is that? To be so close? I can't even imagine. I'm so thankful that I live in Canada. I can't even wrap my brain around what it must be like to be from somewhere like that, where the fighting never ends and tensions run so high. I would always be on edge. I would never relax or sleep. It's awful. How did I get so lucky?

to save your life

I'm adding a new link. This is amazing. I want to get this book. This is the most personal stuff I have ever seen in my whole life and just the few that I read made me feel not alone.

one more

You are a Rocker Girl!

If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's. Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know. Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime. Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

more random internet things...

Your Birthdate: January 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet. Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings. You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments. You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action. Your strength: Your vivid imagination Your weakness: Fear of failure Your power color: Coral Your power symbol: Oval Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

online quizzes to determine my world view....

Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative 69%
Romanticist 69%
Postmodernist 50%
Modernist 50%
Idealist 44%
Existentialist 38%
Materialist 31%
Fundamentalist 31%


What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

zero gravity kitchen parties?

Ok. I just read an article that was talking about how the astronauts on the Discovery right now are going to use duct tape to fix their jet packs so they could do their spacewalks. And it kept talking about how they use it all the time for all kinds of stuff. Including...

"More recently rolls of the hard-wearing grey tape were used on board the space station to form the top of a kitchen table that American astronaut Bill Shepherd built with spare aluminium struts in 2001. "Once we got it put together and finished, it was kind of the social centre of the station," Mr Shepherd said."

A kitchen table made of duct tape which then becomes the social centre. Are you SURE that guy isn't Canadian? Maybe Atlantic Canadian? Because they're having kitchen parties in space. That's awesome! Hahaha!

oh the rage.

I hate lying cheating hypocrite bastards. They ruin my day.

after work is the best time of day

Wow. What a great after work I had. Gym for running and then Pirates of the Carribean! Faith is a great gym buddy. Because she doesn't work out and then be like, so how about some ice cream. Which totally defeats the purpose. It was great. And then movie! It was good. Not as awesome as the first one. Because you knew how Johnny Depp was gonna be as Jack Sparrow. Like the weirdness he is for that character. And he was kinda mean. Not really the funny guy who everyone loved. And I don't like the way Disney is forcing you to go to the next one. This movie completely leaves you hanging! They didn't tie up anything! I'm forced to give Disney another $7.50 (if it's cheap night) because I need to know how this plays out! Although, Disney will probably get more than $7.50 out of me between now and me seeing the next Pirates movie. Doesn't Disney own the world? That's what I thought. Or, at least a good chunk of it.

family matters

I went for a 6km bike ride with my father this evening. I went because my mom was going to go with him, but she had plans with her friend so she couldn't. Everything I just said, for my family, is strange. Something changed. Like a month ago. My dad never went bike riding. I didn't even know my mom knew how to ride a bike, and them do it together? Me going? Weird. Every evening at my house consisted of, my father yelling at me to do the dishes, then going downstaris to sit in his lay-z-boy to watch Seinfeld. Mom would sit upstairs and watch the news. I think that bad things were going down. Mom used to complain about him really bad, about how he never wanted to do anything fun or go anywhere with her. And money. They fought about money really bad a lot. And coffee. That was the big argument. It was too expensive to buy coffee everyday. Coffee? Really? And dad was really hard on us...always yelling and lecturing about everything. Stupid little things like too many shoes left in the front hall closet. Anyway, one night there was a blow out and I was fairly certain that my parents were splitting up. And then, like the next day, complete 180. Now, dad and mom go out all the time, dad signed them up for dance lessons! DANCE LESSONS! Whatever! That's insane. He hugged me when I left for a movie with friends. Him and mom are all huggy and snuggly...it's weird. Just because they've never been like that. And they're all into doing stuff as a family now. And that's how I ended up biking 6km with my dad. And he does't yell anymore. That makes me happy. It was too hard before. You couldn't even talk to him because you'd just end up with a lecture. It was tiring and frustrating. I never even talked to him. It was getting to the point where I was going to have no relationship whatsoever with him. I really didn't want that to happen but I didn't know how to fix it. But he's changed. And its good. Hopefully things will stay this way.

up too late

So, instead of sleeping, I'm watching MuchNews Weekly. Who cares. I'm sitting here rotting my mind when I could be sleeping. Precious sleep. I don't care that Avril and Derek are getting married, or that Kevin left the Backstreet Boys. Actually, good for Kevin. He knows when the plane is going down and he doesn't want to die in the fiery crash. They're putting out another CD. How is that even possible? Did anyone buy their last CD?
Jets Overhead, eh? That was a quick little clip, but I liked the sound. Maybe I'll look them up. A big festival needs to come to Halifax. And the Rolling Stones don't count. I think that after the craziness of last summer's Moncton party, no one is going to care this year. Its only 1 year later! And at the end of it last year, people couldn't give away Stones tickets. So obviously everyone who wanted to see them, saw them. So no one is going to travel here for them this year. The only people who are going to see them this year in Halifax, are people from Halifax. Anyone else would be better. The Barenaked Ladies are going to Charlottetown. I like the Barenaked Ladies! They're pretty fun. I'd like it if they came here. Damn them and their hatred of Halifax. Or...maybe damn Halifax for pissing off the Barenaked Ladies. Either way, I can't go to Charlottetown to see them. No more road trips this summer. I can't afford it. I was just in Charlottetown. Enough fun for one summer.
Hmm...The Streets. I like British music. Maybe this was a productive MuchNews viewing.
So I'm trying to learn how to play Acoustic #3 by the Goo Goo Dolls on my guitar. It's kind of an old song that never got air play, but it's been stuck in my head lately. I don't know why. So I looked up the tabs. I really like it. There are 3 'rhythm figures' you just kinda play over and over. The first and third figures I have handled. Number 2 is causing me some trouble. And I can't sing along with it. Once I have all 3 figures down, I'll play it with the song and hopefully become a pro. That's the plan.
I'm not so into the screaming music. It stresses me out. Little too much for me. But if that's your thing, do it up.
Ok, so this is cool. There is a new award called the Polaris Prize. It's a prize for the best full length Canadian album. It's awarded based completely on artistic merit with no regard for air play or record sales. That is fantastic. Also cool is Going Coastal is covering Buck 65 getting the key to Mount Uniack. That's awesome. That's another former always-in-Halifax guy who isn't back all that often. Next time he's here, I'm going to see him. He's great.
And now it's midnight. Why am I still awake? I'm awake because I'm too lazy to get up and get ready for bed. Ok. I'm going. Right now.
Also, do you think it's possible to fall out of love as suddenly as hitting the floor if you fell out of bed? And, if you've never been in love before, how do you know when it's love you're falling out of?

after midnight

I'm so tired. I don't know why I'm still awake. I need to go to bed. I was up last night until 4:00 talking on msn to someone having some troubles. He's a good guy but it always seems that things don't always work out. And I still feel awful for my part of it. Even though it was like, 3 years ago. Anyway, I'm glad that we're friends now.
I think I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow. I need to get active again. I've really done not much of anything for a while now. It will be great. Maybe some running.
I'm hungry.

am i happy you're leaving? yes.

So the registration has happened. I'm definitely satisfied with my classes. I got everything I wanted, when I wanted it. Very happy. So now, bring on the school. I really need to work hard this year and bring up my pathetic GPA. If I'm going to spend all this money and time doing this school thing, I might as well put a few more hours into it and do it well. It's annoying because none of my friends are students. So it's easy for them to just be like, ok lets go!! But I'm like, yeah...I have class/homework/exams to study for. But 3 years isn't all that much time to have left. I can do it. It's worth it.
I want to go to the beach. I wish I knew some more surfers. It's too hard to get people to go because they don't want to spend the money and they've never done it. I really want to go. This weekend. I'm going to do it.
So he told me today that he's leaving on July 31. He said he didn't know if I thought that was a good thing or not. Honestly, if he wasn't so...intense, I'd be a whole lot more torn up about it. When I first met him, I thought he was great. But then he slowly started getting more flirty with me. Which is fine. But his girlfriend didn't like it very much. And one night when we were all out, he said that he wanted to appologize in advance for anything he might try once his girlfriend had moved back home. Yeah, ok, that's just drunken rambling. But then, once she left, it all came out. He started telling me I was hot and that guys were insane for not jumping at the chance to be with me and trying to be all "gentlemanly" by offering me his coat if I was cold and whatever. Which was nice I guess. And then there was a party. Everyone was wrecked, obviously, and at the end of the night I found myself leaning on him. Whatever. But then he told me he wanted to kiss me and that his girlfriend had been jealous of me from the first time she met me and that he really liked me. I was lying on the couch and he tried to kiss me and I was like, No! You have a girlfriend! And not only do you have a girlfriend, I KNOW your girlfriend! I know her! And I like her! And I was like, You're moving to be with her. And you know what he said to me? You're right. I'm not going to leave her for you. But I'm so attracted to you. Wow. Thanks. That's a great way to get into a girl's pants...I'm not going to leave my girlfriend for you. So anyway I just kept telling him that I didn't want to do it because of his girlfriend. And he told me to stop saying her name. It was disgusting. I've never felt so used in my whole life. He was like, I think we need to just do this and get it out of our system because I think we both want it. Gross. No, we don't both want it. Then he started hitting on me and sending me e-mails telling me that the highlight in his day is e-mails from me and that he'd love it if I saved him from drowning, especially if it involved mouth to mouth. First of all, I don't find drowning jokes funny at all. And second, I bet your girlfriend would love it if she knew what you were doing. And one time we were all out for lunch and he started talking about some ex girlfriend of his who cheated on him with 2 of his friends. He went on and on and on about how much it hurts to be cheated on and how he's not friends with the guys anymore and if he ever found out that his current girlfriend was cheating on him, he'd probably hit her. I wanted to jump across the table and strangle him. He was totally willing to cheat on her with me! He's such a bastard. I'm glad he's leaving. I've hooked up with guys before and kinda been that one night stand but I have never ever felt so used as he made me feel. And every day he makes me feel more disgusting. I hate it when he looks and me and the creepy way he talks to me. I can't wait until he leaves. And at his going away party, if he tries anything, I'm going to hurt him.

wedding plans are exciting

Yea!! I can't wait!! I'm going to meet Anna tonight to help her with wedding
stuff! How exciting! She has asked me to design the wedding program and the
bookmarks they're giving as favours. I feel honoured! I'm so excited. I hope
she likes what I come up with. I'd really like to get creative and maybe do
some hand drawn stuff...something that doesn't look computer drawn. I wonder
what she has in mind. I'd like to see what her invitations look like too. Oh
yea for weddings...I hope I get to go too. I'm not really holding my breath for
an invitation though. I know she's trying to keep it small. I just really want
to see her dress. I went dress shopping with her but she didn't end up getting
any of the ones we looked at. So I have no idea! As long as I get to see
pictures. Thats all that matters.

sleep now

Oh man. I have never been so tired in my entire life. 4 days off is too much. You get too used to sleeping in and doing nothing. This job is way too boring to be this tired. Who wants to write paragraphs about American cities all day long? Not me...but that's what I'm doing. How did I end up working here? I don't think I'm going to survive the summer. But it's only another 2 months. I can do it. It wouldn't even be so bad if it was just part time. Maybe I'll be able to keep doing it once school starts. Because I'm going to need money. Oh damnit! I didn't submit my student loan application! It's all ready to go I just need to send it. I think I'm going to get screwed over this year. I ended up getting a job in February and didn't tell them. Am I going to get penalized? I hope not. I need money. And my coffee has arrived. God love the Tim's run.

sweet satisfaction

So that was the best 2 hours and 40 minutes of my life. What an awesome movie. Brandon Routh did a fantastic job as superman. And his Clark Kent was too cute! I think that that's why I like kind of nerdy geeky guys. Because Clark Kent. And then the whole Superman alter-ego? So hot. And Kevin Spacey was an awesome Lex Luthor. Awesome. I am the happiest girl in the world right now. Hahaha I just want to see it again right now.

ahhh!!

I'm finally going to see Superman!!! I can't wait!! Oh it's going to be fantastic.

i can't hide the way i'm feeling

Why do I always end up hurting? Why can't things just work out? I'm definitely falling for him and I'm only getting hurt. I just hate not knowing. Getting mixed signals. I don't see him very often. I want to tell him everything. Little stupid things happen to me and I think, I want to tell him! It's just a crush, right?

more clouds

What is up with the weather? Why is it so gross out? Its cloudy and gonna rain again today! I'm so happy yesterday was nice. I had so much fun last night at the Deck. Except I got red ink from my hand stamp on my ass because the stamp was so wet. Stupid red stamp. It better come out. And some chick spilled her beer all down my leg. So thats lovely. Haha it got so sticky and I made Luke touch my leg. Haha gross. He didn't really...he just kinda poked it. I don't think he understood what the point of touching it was. And other people ended up coming. So thats great! But they weren't dancers which sucks. They just sat at a table and then went home pretty early. Oh well. I had a blast so thats all that matters. Melanie wants to go back again tonight. i don't know how I feel about that. I'm so tired from last night. I don't really like going to the same place two nights in a row. I feel a bit foolish. But its fun so I usually end up giving in. And it will be a different band outside tonight. So it might be ok. I don't know. We'll see. I really need to clean up my room. Its such a mess. I can't find anything. Maybe I'll do that this afternoon. But I'm off tomorrow and Tuesday from work. So I have lots of time to do it. Wow. I lead a pretty exciting life....

oh canada

It's sunny out today! Finally! After what feels like months of rain and cloud and fog its finally sunny! And hot! Oh I'm gonna wear a skirt today I think. We're gonna hit the Lower Deck this afternoon. Its gonna be jammed. Patio party! Its going to be so fun. Even if it just ends up being the two of us. I wish more people would come. A bunch of people said they would but are now backing out. What else are you going to do! Come have some beer! Its Canada Day!