reunions

it's funny how when you haven't seen someone in 8 months because they moved, you assume they're going to be totally different because they got out of here and away from everything. but they're not at all. same stories, same problems, same attitude. i feel kind of guilty because we were close and i know i was there for her during some super tough times. but it just all became too much. the problems never ended. one person can only take so much. and maybe that makes me a terrible person. she's living it and i can't handle listening to her talk about what is going on. i want to. i really do. but when i have my own issues to deal with, it's really hard taking on someone elses too. especially when i feel bad for stressing over the things i stress over when maybe she is actually falling apart, you know? a lot of people walked when things were bad and i managed to survive it so why is this so hard to deal with? it's because it never changes. at what point does it all kick in and you actually learn your lesson? i hope it's soon. because i should have looked forward to the phone call. but instead i cursed myself for answering. i know. i'm awful.