birthday thoughts

so here i am. 25. feels a lot like 24 right now. and 23, 22 and 21 for that matter. i never really feel like i'm getting older, but when i hear myself say my age out loud i think, what? really? no. but yup. 25.

i may not smile
as you turn and walk away
my heart just falls
on every word you say
i will not fight
cause you will not listen

i have goals for this year. the first one is stop putting so much faith in other people. yup. that's right. i trust and assume way too much and all i get is hurt. so now, you get nothing until you prove yourself worthy. some people are even being removed from my trusted list. it needs to be done.

and thought i never
led my troops to war
and though i never
learned what my life was for
and all i ever got was nothing

cause you always said one day
you always said soon i'll do it
you always said now but waited
now you've waited to long
waited to long

turning 25 feels like a new beginning. i don't know why. but it seems like a milestone of sorts. it's a clean slate. time to start doing what i want. what makes me happy. not waiting for other people to make me happy. because that's just not going to happen.

i thought you were right
cause i knew i was wrong
well you can cry if you want
cry if you want
i will hang in myself
myself

so here's to happy twenty-five. may i find what i'm looking for and become the person i want to be.