am i happy you're leaving? yes.

So the registration has happened. I'm definitely satisfied with my classes. I got everything I wanted, when I wanted it. Very happy. So now, bring on the school. I really need to work hard this year and bring up my pathetic GPA. If I'm going to spend all this money and time doing this school thing, I might as well put a few more hours into it and do it well. It's annoying because none of my friends are students. So it's easy for them to just be like, ok lets go!! But I'm like, yeah...I have class/homework/exams to study for. But 3 years isn't all that much time to have left. I can do it. It's worth it.
I want to go to the beach. I wish I knew some more surfers. It's too hard to get people to go because they don't want to spend the money and they've never done it. I really want to go. This weekend. I'm going to do it.
So he told me today that he's leaving on July 31. He said he didn't know if I thought that was a good thing or not. Honestly, if he wasn't so...intense, I'd be a whole lot more torn up about it. When I first met him, I thought he was great. But then he slowly started getting more flirty with me. Which is fine. But his girlfriend didn't like it very much. And one night when we were all out, he said that he wanted to appologize in advance for anything he might try once his girlfriend had moved back home. Yeah, ok, that's just drunken rambling. But then, once she left, it all came out. He started telling me I was hot and that guys were insane for not jumping at the chance to be with me and trying to be all "gentlemanly" by offering me his coat if I was cold and whatever. Which was nice I guess. And then there was a party. Everyone was wrecked, obviously, and at the end of the night I found myself leaning on him. Whatever. But then he told me he wanted to kiss me and that his girlfriend had been jealous of me from the first time she met me and that he really liked me. I was lying on the couch and he tried to kiss me and I was like, No! You have a girlfriend! And not only do you have a girlfriend, I KNOW your girlfriend! I know her! And I like her! And I was like, You're moving to be with her. And you know what he said to me? You're right. I'm not going to leave her for you. But I'm so attracted to you. Wow. Thanks. That's a great way to get into a girl's pants...I'm not going to leave my girlfriend for you. So anyway I just kept telling him that I didn't want to do it because of his girlfriend. And he told me to stop saying her name. It was disgusting. I've never felt so used in my whole life. He was like, I think we need to just do this and get it out of our system because I think we both want it. Gross. No, we don't both want it. Then he started hitting on me and sending me e-mails telling me that the highlight in his day is e-mails from me and that he'd love it if I saved him from drowning, especially if it involved mouth to mouth. First of all, I don't find drowning jokes funny at all. And second, I bet your girlfriend would love it if she knew what you were doing. And one time we were all out for lunch and he started talking about some ex girlfriend of his who cheated on him with 2 of his friends. He went on and on and on about how much it hurts to be cheated on and how he's not friends with the guys anymore and if he ever found out that his current girlfriend was cheating on him, he'd probably hit her. I wanted to jump across the table and strangle him. He was totally willing to cheat on her with me! He's such a bastard. I'm glad he's leaving. I've hooked up with guys before and kinda been that one night stand but I have never ever felt so used as he made me feel. And every day he makes me feel more disgusting. I hate it when he looks and me and the creepy way he talks to me. I can't wait until he leaves. And at his going away party, if he tries anything, I'm going to hurt him.