this post could have a thousand different titles...

...including song lyrics such as, i used to think i knew what i was waiting for i don't think that anymore; everytime i wonder why i think back to the kindness in your eyes; as it is that's just a lie and i'm here eating up the bordom on an island of cement. and one that i made up on my own - taking public transit is like being in purgatory

i'm not going to get into the song lyric ones. they speak for themselves.

the transit one does also, but i'll get into it a little further.

when i'm on the bus, i feel like i don't even exist at all. no one sees you, no one cares. people step on you and push you. they don't care. no one knows where you're going and you don't know where they're going. it just feels odd to me and i think about it every day. i'm just this anonymous nobody. not really existing anywhere, you know? i dunno. maybe i can't get into it because maybe i don't really understand how it makes me feel. or maybe you know exactly what i mean because you feel the same way. it's empty and it's alone. it almost feels like i'm in a movie. like i'm watching myself move through the city. ahh i have no idea. i'm going to stop trying to explain.

so what's up with guys telling me all their relationship issues? seriously. do i have 'diary' stamped across my face?

i mean, if i'm actually friends with someone, i have no problem listening to their problems. i want to help people if i can. but honestly, does a guy want to start seeing a girl who knows all his history? and not just, oh i dated that girl, kind of history. and not just, yeah i'm seeing someone, kind of current info. why is it that as soon as i am interested in a guy, he feels the need to pour his heart out? it has happened with 3 different guys recently. ugh.

and with 2 of them, i didn't really even know them that well before the talking started! i don't want to hear about how crazy your ex is or how she tries to make you jealous or how many times you've been in love vs the number of girls or how she left at 3am after fooling around! argh! these are not things you tell a girl you want to start seeing. as soon as things like that start being told, i'm out of the running.

i'm going to stop being friendly because i'm tired of being the friend.