i heart stress.

kinda freaking out. yup. here comes summer.

its the time of year where i stress out because of the whole term ending, projects due, exam time thing.

but adding to this, for really the first time ever, is my complete uncertanty about where i will be working this summer.

the summer camp job that was supposed to be my fall-back totally fell through [as i previously blogged about] and the lab jobs i dream of are not looking like they're going to be coming through for me either.

so where does that leave me?

the job i have now hires extra people for the summer, but i already made a big deal about not wanting to work there this summer. and working there = working weekends. which is shit because no one i know works weekends. all my friends do the real job thing and are thus off on weekends. plus i'm not even sure if they'll hire me for the summer because it is known that i'm looking for other things.

i just need a job. please. someone give me a job.

also stressing me out right now is the whole, what am i going to do with my life thing. i want to go to med school. pretty much more than i want to do anything. but i know that there is no way i will ever get in. my chances are probably actually zero.

so after an amazing compliment from someone on the weekend, i've started to reconsider the teacher option. high school biology would be awesome. maybe. i think about my high school bio teacher and she was amazing. if i could be her, it would be fantastic. but would i be happy doing the same thing every year for the rest of my life? the high school bio program is pretty much the exact same now that my youngest brother [7 years younger] is in grade 12 as it was when i was. gross. and as much as i worry about how i would deal with teaching, i wonder if i'd even get into an education program.

i'm beginning to feel a little hopeless.